Great Expectations
by TenshiXXX
Summary: The Rouen School For Supernatural Entities is the foremost place of learning for human-like magical beings. As a result, Naruto Uzumaki, a fox demon, didn't expect to be accepted. And he didn't expect to develop a fixation on Sasuke Uchiha, a sorcerer.
1. Prologue

Prologue

The Rouen School For Supernatural Entities was a medieval castle that spanned 11 acres upon a flat-topped wide hill that ended abruptly with a dramatic, nearly vertical 400 foot drop. The view of rolling green hills and grassy moor lands was said to be spectacular, and, on a fine day, it was said that one could admire the sun glistening upon the sea miles to the south. Most people were never able to discover whether this was true. For the school was a special one, and few were invited to attend. It was considered an immense honour to be chosen.

The grounds stretched for miles in either direction, and encompassed the moors, a frigid black lake, and an eerie pine forest, before ending with a mountainous hill on the horizon. Students were allowed to explore the grounds to their heart's content, but they were not allowed on the south side of the lake. It was alleged that a jabberwocky had taken up residence there, feasting on fish and swimming in the shadowy waters closest to the cave in which it lived.

The school had an illustrious history. It was built in the 12th century by Duke Andre de Rouen, a French warlock, who wanted to give young magical beings a place in which they could learn the skills necessary to survive in a world that condemned them. He was a kind-hearted man who successfully concealed his true nature from ordinary folk for his entire life. His portrait showed him to be spindly and tall, with a thick black and silver beard and viridian eyes. One eye was paler and blind- the result, he claimed, of a night time rendezvous that went horribly wrong when he was young. The portrait hung, rather bizarrely, in the ground floor bathroom. As a result, people rarely used that particular bathroom. It felt disrespectful to answer the call of nature in the presence of Rouen, even if he was only a portrait. Rouen had had an unusual sense of humour, and had specifically demanded that his portrait be hung in the bathroom so that badly behaved students who were forced to clean the bathroom as punishment would get that creepy feeling associated with being watched.

He died a mere six months after the school was finally completed, at an eyebrow-raising 84 years of age. He was interred in a crypt in the tallest tower of the school he had dedicated his life to, and his son, who was also a warlock, became the first Master of Rouen and named it in honour of his late father.

There was a strict list of creatures who were allowed to be invited to join. Included were witches, warlocks, sorcerers, demons, furies, shifters, nymphs, fairies, elves, demigods, elementals, and many other supernatural beings, all of which were named specifically. The general gist was that a being must have human-level intelligence, and must not be a significant danger to their peers. As such, unicorns, basilisks and other beings who were less intelligent than humans were excluded from the list. Of course, being of lesser intelligence, it is highly likely they did not understand enough to be unhappy with the arrangement.

Lessons covered a variety of subjects. There were those which were offered only to supernatural beings, such as sorcery, witchcraft and divination, and there were subjects which were offered to non-magical people outside of the school, such as mathematics. The reason these subjects were offered was to give students the knowledge necessary to survive in the outside world.

Since the school had opened, it had offered sanctuary to any magical being in times of trouble, and had produced the greatest beings in the supernatural world. It was famous the world over, with students eagerly awaiting their letters by their windows on Summer Solstice. Every year, the Master of Rouen- currently the Mistress of Rouen- was given the thankless job of crushing young hopefuls' dreams as she sent letters to a select few, and didn't send letters to the vast majority. The letters would arrive with an explosive bang to alert students to their arrival. They would sit, glowing, on the window sill, the gold seal of the Athenian Owl surrounded by the annulet and the Latin phrase _Scientia est potentia_ identifying it as a letter from Rouen. Students would then do one of two things: whoop (or squeal) excitedly, showing the letter to their proud parents, or faint abruptly, waking up to a nasty bruise and a nice surprise.

When Naruto Uzumaki awoke on 21st June, he did not expect to receive a letter from Rouen. In fact, he did not expect to be accepted into a school of magical beings at all. There were many around the world, but the one in England, The Rouen School For Supernatural Entities, was seen as the Oxbridge or perhaps Harvard of the supernatural world. So it was not surprising that he didn't think he was capable of getting into such a school. In fact, he didn't view himself as somebody who was capable of anything special at all. He intended to remain in non-magical education so that he could become a world leader someday. He knew that he was a demon, but he believed himself to be a particularly unimpressive one.

With a stretch, he sat up and yawned expansively. Scratching his backside, he shuffled towards the bathroom, his eyes at half-mast as he struggled to wake himself up. He was in the shower, washing his hair, when there was a deafening bang that sounded something like somebody detonating a tonne of C4. Startled, he opened his eyes, and shampoo ran into them. With a shriek of pain, he stumbled backwards, slipped on the soap, and fell out of the shower, taking the shower curtain with him.

"Shit!" he mumbled, digging his palms into his eyes to stop them from streaming as he lay, naked, on the floor. Within moments, he heard the frantic, thundering footsteps of his guardian on the stairs.

"Naruto!" Iruka shouted through the door, "Naruto, are you ok? What was that bang?"

And then his voice became suspicious.

"You're not pulling a prank, are you?" he asked.

"No," Naruto called, wiping his watering eyes with some toilet paper, "I fell out of the shower when I _heard _that bang,"

He stood up and found the thankfully dry towel. Securing it around his waist, he limped to the door- that was definitely going to bruise- and walked into his room. Iruka stood on the other side of the door, and regarded him with worried brown eyes.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah," Naruto said with a grin, "I've had worse,"

Iruka grinned back for a moment, but then his expression became worried again.

"I still want to know what that bang was," he said, "You didn't mess with my potion ingredients again, did you, Naruto?"

"Geez, that only happened once!" Naruto said petulantly, "How was I supposed to know what would happen when I mixed Gorgon tears with unicorn semen?"

Iruka only sighed and scratched the scar that spanned his face, as he was wont to do when agitated. Taking this as dismissal, Naruto went to the window and pulled open the curtains, letting in the sun. He grinned at the warmth on his face and absentmindedly rested one hand on the windowsill as he opened the window with the other. Beneath his fingers, he could feel something smooth. He looked down, and gasped.

"That's impossible!" he said to himself, unaware that Iruka was watching him. With trembling fingers, he lifted the faintly glowing envelope to eye level. It was made from golden vellum and was perhaps two centimetres thick. On the front was a crest everybody magical recognised- the owl and annulet of The Rouen School For Supernatural Entities. Trembling slightly, he pulled the envelope open and pulled out the letter. His eyes raced over the text. It was addressed to "Master Naruto Uzumaki". There was no mistaking it. It was for him.

"We are delighted to offer you a place at the Rouen School For Supernatural Entities," he read slowly, his brain not really comprehending the words on the letter. He blinked as the letter was snatched from his hands.

"Have you seen the list of professors?" Iruka demanded excitedly, "Naruto, this is incredible. Look, you have Kakashi Hatake for Witchcraft! He's one of the greatest warlocks who have ever lived! He came up with ways to extract potion ingredients from difficult sources safely, and invented the chidori! And- _holy shit_!- Itachi Uchiha for Sorcery? Are you kidding me? He's the most powerful sorcerer in the world! They say he can summon Hades himself! Not to mention that the Mistress of Rouen is Tsunade of the Sannin! And-!"

"Iruka, calm down!" Naruto yelled, shaking his guardian roughly, "They're great- I get it!"

"Naruto, I don't think you _do _get it!" Iruka said, "These people are the pinnacle of the magical world! Most would kill for the opportunity to be educated by these legendary people!"

Naruto blinked again. And again.

"Holy shit! I'm going to Rouen!" he shouted, hugging Iruka tightly. Iruka made a muffled sound of pain, and Naruto let go with an apologetic wince. Like some demigods, demons were blessed- or cursed, depending upon your perspective- with enormous strength.

Approximately 200 miles away, in Sendai, a pretty pink haired girl was hugging her best friend, tears streaming down their faces, as they pored over identical letters offering them places at Rouen. In London, England, a long haired, pale eyed boy was trembling minutely as he read his own letter, while, in Washington, USA, a boy with crimson hair was scrutinising his letter, apparently apathetic. Only the faint gleam in his eyes gave away his excitement.

This story was repeated all over the world. In all, 16 hopefuls out of the possible millions were chosen to attend this prestigious school that year. Only one out of those sixteen was not surprised that he was chosen.

Sasuke Uchiha sat at his kitchen table as his father proudly congratulated him and his mother cried into a napkin. Truthfully, his elder brother looked more excited that he did.

"I'd expect nothing different from my son," his father said, "I haven't been this proud since Itachi attended. We're going out for a meal tonight, to celebrate,"

"Does Sasuke not deserve a reward?" Itachi piped up. Sasuke's father nodded, and Sasuke fought to keep the small smile off his face. He was so stoic around everyone else, yet Itachi always managed to turn him into an awestruck 7 year old again.

"You'll make an incredible sorcerer one day, son," Sasuke's father said gruffly, tucking into his breakfast, "Just like Itachi,"

At this, Sasuke's mood became dark, and Itachi worriedly paused in the middle of eating his food.

"Maybe he would rather follow his own path instead of forever treading mine," Itachi murmured. But nobody heard him. Sasuke was too busy angsting, and mother and father were too busy admiring their incredible genes.

* * *

Guys, I ask only that you review. Love it or hate it, I'd like to know why. This is, of course, loosely based on Harry Potter.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Students attending the Rouen School For Supernatural Entities were required to meet by the hill that marked the boundary of the school grounds on the first day of school. The school didn't care how they got there. If they were unable to find their way, they were clearly not cut out for such a school.

The rental car trundled along the dirt road, leaving a cloud of dust in its wake, as Naruto spotted the hill towering above them.

"Is this the hill?" he asked Iruka loudly, leaning between the two seats to get a better look. Iruka smiled at his excitement.

"Yes, Naruto," he said, wincing as Naruto whooped excitedly near his ear.

"This year is going to be awesome!" he said, "Hey, do you think there will be any cute girls?"

"Girls should be the last thing on your mind, Naruto Uzumaki," Iruka said disapprovingly, "You don't come to a school like this to be an idiot,"

"Hmph," Naruto said sullenly, "But what will I do when I get bored?"

His eyes lit up.

"Don't even think about it," Iruka said sharply, "No pranks. I've heard Tsunade has quite the temper. Stay on her good side and try not to get kicked out,"

"Aww!" Naruto moaned.

"There will be plenty of people your own age attending this year," Iruka informed him, "So you'll definitely have company,"

"Yeah, I guess," Naruto grumbled, "But I was looking forward to picking out the snobbiest bastard and-,"

"Language, Naruto," Iruka said automatically as he adjusted his mirror.

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto said, glancing out the window. It was impossible to see anything beyond vague shapes, as the glass was coated in a thin layer of dust from the road.

"How long does it take to get to one stinking hill?" he asked in a thin, whining voice.

"We're nearly there, Naruto," Iruka said.

"Yeah, but we spotted it a while back!" Naruto pointed out, "You must be going really slow,"

"I'm going at a safe, steady speed," Iruka protested.

"No, you're going slow," Naruto countered with a grin as a vein started to twitch above Iruka's left eye.

"Have you considered the possibility," Iruka said, his teeth clenched so tightly that Naruto could barely understand him, "That the hill is very big, as that's why we spotted it a while back?"

Naruto made a show of putting on a mockingly pensive expression.

"No, you're slow," he concluded with a shrug, "We'd be there already if you'd just let _me _drive!"

"No way!" Iruka protested hotly, "This car's a rental. I don't trust you. And you're not of a legal driving age in this country, anyway,"

"I'd drive at a safe speed!" Naruto assured him, although it was clear that Iruka wasn't buying it, "What's the speed limit on one of those motorway roads here in England again?"

"Naruto, this is a dirt road!" Iruka told him irritably, "I won't allow you to drive down this road at 70mph! Do you want to kill us both?"

Naruto subsided with grumbled comments about overly-cautious guardians, ramen and, curiously, rabbits' feet. Iruka chose not to ask.

"That's one big-ass hill!" Naruto said with a whistle after two blissful minutes of silence as they drove into its shadow. Iruka was inclined to agree, although that didn't stop him from hitting Naruto with an empty bottle for his language. Iruka parked the car with difficulty- not because the place was crowded with cars, but because the ground at the base of the hill was at a slope, and he worried that the car would careen into a tree. They got out (Naruto rubbing a forming bruise) and began to collect Naruto's luggage from the boot of the car. Around them, people watched curiously. Already, eight or nine people were standing at the base of the hill, their luggage lying close to them as they awkwardly avoided each other's gazes.

Naruto was not a shy person, and scrunched his nose up in dismay.

"You all realise that we're going to the best school in the world, right?" he inquired loudly. He received many identical looks of surprise, a few amused looks, and one or two apathetic looks.

"Well, yeah," a pink haired girl mumbled, her face taking on a bright red hue as everybody turned to look at her. But she smiled at Naruto nervously. He grinned back, and the colour on her cheeks receded somewhat.

"Oh, good," Naruto said, his voice heavy with relief, "Cause I thought I'd walked into a funeral or something,"

The pink haired girl laughed, as did her friend, a young blond girl who was slightly taller and slimmer than her. And, just like that, the tension was gone. Naruto happily walked over to them and motioned for Iruka to join him. Iruka sent him an annoyed glare as he pointedly hauled Naruto's cases out of the boot with great difficulty.

"I'm Naruto. You wouldn't happen to be a furie, by any chance?" Naruto inquired, ignoring his miffed guardian. The pink haired girl nodded brightly.

"Sakura. How did you guess?" she asked, "My wings haven't popped out, have they?"

She twisted to check her back.

"No," Naruto assured her, "I can smell it,"

"Oh!" she said, along with her friend, who had yet to speak, "You're a demon!"

"Yeah," Naruto admitted with a shrug. He, personally, hated the word. It had too many negative connotations, thanks to religions which described them as evil servants of the devil. Naruto Uzumaki served nobody, and he was, in no way, evil. He'd even cried when he'd had to bury his rukh chick when it had died suddenly when he was 4.

"Wow!" Sakura said excitedly, "I've never met a demon before! I'd love to meet a bijuu, but there aren't many that exist,"

"Er...What's a bijuu?" Naruto asked, nonplussed. He scratched his head awkwardly as she looked at him with surprise shining in her green eyes.

"They're tailed demons," the blond girl butted in. Her voice was very melodic, and Naruto knew, with utmost certainty, that she was a siren.

"Oh. I have tails when I'm in demon form," Naruto informed the girls flippantly. Their jaws dropped.

"How many?" Sakura asked, clutching his shoulders in a strong grip. He sent a pointed glance towards her rapidly-lengthening talons, and she let go with an apologetic look.

"Er...9," he said cautiously, carefully stepping out of arm's reach.

"_Nine_?" they shrieked.

"No, he has 14," a voice butted in sarcastically. The two girls turned on the newcomer furiously, their claws lengthening again. The boy, a shaggy-haired male with sharp fangs and teeth, didn't seem impressed as he sat astride the biggest dog Naruto had ever seen.

"Hey, dude," the boy said, holding out a hand for Naruto to shake, "I'm Kiba,"

"And what are you supposed to be?" the siren girl sneered.

"I'm an adlet, so you'd better watch your mouth, bitch," Kiba snarled. It was only now that Naruto spotted the dog-like features of the boy- the brown ears that jutted from his head, the hair on the backs of his hands, and the tail that waved agitatedly as he confronted the siren girl.

"Like I care," she said, flicking her hair, "I'm a siren. I only have to sing and you'll be at my mercy,"

"That only works on humans, you idiot," Kiba smirked, scratching his dog behind the ears. The dog's foot-long tongue lolled out of its mouth as it panted in pleasure.

"Don't call me an idiot, you mongrel!" the siren shrieked, her wings erupting from the back of her dress.

"No, Ino!" Sakura hissed, attempting to restrain her furiously-struggling friend. Nearby, a brunet with two antlers rising out of his dark head yawned and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "Troublesome,"

"I'll rip that bastard's head off!" Ino shrieked, grappling with Sakura. Naruto shuddered. He'd heard that sirens had terrible tempers, but he hadn't quite expected them to explode so easily.

"Ino, please, we're going-,"

The ground fractured, and Sakura forgot what she had been about to say. The group of teenagers stumbled backwards with cries of fear, faces contorted in identical expressions of shock and panic.

Then, from the chasm erupted a fantastic geyser, fifty feet high and twisting, glinting in the afternoon sun. Naruto could see the shapes of sharks, serpents and other monsters in the water, swirling and disintegrating before forming into something else. A megalodon opened its blue maw wide enough to swallow a grown man, before it splashed out of existence, and a writhing, sea-green serpent replaced it, body flickering and showering them with water.

"Holy shit!" Naruto shouted stupidly over the roar of this monstrous display.

"Fresh meat I see!" a deep voice called from above them. Naruto peered up, squinting at the sun which shone dazzlingly near the hilltop, as though it had been stuck there by some giant hand. He couldn't see who it was, but he could make out a silhouette standing comfortably on top of the jet of water.

And then the man jumped, and the geyser disappeared with a splash.

"Holy shit," Naruto said weakly as he was showered.

"He's going to splatter himself everywhere," Kiba said, looking annoyed and, disturbingly, hungry. Then, he sniffed the air. Naruto followed suit.

"Looks like he'll be fine afterall," Kiba sighed, "Fucking demigods,"

Naruto was inclined to agree. Demigods were notorious for surviving situations that would kill an ordinary person (or a mortal supernatural being).

When the man landed, the ground shuddered with the force of the impact. A cloud of dust and rock billowed up, making it difficult to see him. Naruto knew one thing though- this guy was huge.

Coughing, the students wafted the air with their arms as they squinted.

"You failed the first test," the demigod said. Now that the geyser was gone, Naruto could hear his voice properly. It was deep, but sounded perpetually amused. There was also an undertone something slick and sly.

"What test?" Naruto asked as the dust began to clear, "You didn't give us a test!"

"I did," the demigod said, striding out of the crater he had left in the ground.

"That little...performance was a test?" the boy with the antlers asked, "What were we supposed to do to pass?"

"You were supposed to stay calm," the demigod said with a chuckle, "But not many people do manage that, so I'm not sending you packing,"

But Naruto wasn't listening. The wind had blown the last of the dust away, revealing an extremely outlandish man. He was both a shark and a human, wrapped up in one gigantic package. His eyes were pale and lidless and appeared slightly demonic as they stared out from a blue-skinned face. Across his cheeks were slashes that were clearly supposed to represent gills. Whether they actually worked was not clear, and Naruto wasn't going to ask. Despite his shark-like characteristics, this demigod had the shape of a six-and-a-half-foot man, clad in the blue and gold sleeveless robes that identified him as a demigod. When he grinned at them, sharp teeth glinted in his mouth.

"Kisame, son of Poseidon," he introduced himself, and Naruto could see the tiny Greek letter _pi_ on the collar of his robes that specified his parentage, "I don't want to know your names yet. But I thought you might want to know mine,"

"Now wait a minute!" Iruka interjected. He looked irate, and was soaked and muddy. Naruto had forgotten he was there.

"Yes?" Kisame asked impatiently.

"You can't do that to these students!" Iruka told him. At a few inches shy of six feet tall, Iruka looked rather ridiculous as he squared up to the muscular blue behemoth.

"I've been doing that to new students since this school was built," Kisame laughed, "If they can't handle it, they shouldn't be here,"

"And what was the point in this little exercise?" Iruka asked, tapping his foot. Naruto slapped his forehead. Was Iruka their mother now?

"To see what they're made of," Kisame answered with a savage toothy grin.

"Iruka, it's fine," Naruto said as Iruka opened his mouth angrily, raising his finger to lecture the demigod, "I don't want to be treated like a little kid. He's right. We shouldn't be here if we're weak,"

"That's no excuse!" Iruka blustered, "He could have killed you all!"

"We're fine," Naruto repeated seriously. Iruka paused at Naruto's expression. Then, Naruto grinned, "Stop worrying so much. You'll get wrinkly, and people will be like "Hey, is that your grandpa?" And I'll be embarrassed to be seen with you because you look like an old sofa, and-OW!"

"Can it, brat!" Iruka snarled, his fist buried in Naruto's thick blond hair. Naruto whimpered.

"I think we'll be fine," Ino said confidently, although she avoided looking at Kisame. Sakura nodded in agreement. The boy with the antlers muttered the word troublesome, but didn't look too worried. But Naruto _did _get the impression that he was continually apathetic.

Iruka was not convinced, and kept shooting Naruto fretful glances as he got back in the car and drove away.

"E-Excuse me, Professor Kisame-," Sakura began.

"Just Kisame,"

"Pardon?"

"Don't call me professor. It makes me feel old,"

Naruto found it slightly odd that the demigod who had claimed to have been greeting Rouen students since the middle ages didn't like the thought of feeling old. Sakura appeared to share the sentiment, as she nodded uncertainly before continued.

"Kisame, where are the rest of the students?" she asked. Naruto looked around. He could count 9 people, including himself. Which meant that some were missing.

"They're already inside," Kisame said, "They come from families that know all about Rouen, and Rouen knows all about them. You guys-,"

He inspected them all individually. Even the brash adlet Kiba gulped.

"You guys are fresh meat," he smiled a terrible smile.

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, because it was clear that everybody else was too afraid to speak up.

"Exactly what I said," Kisame said enigmatically, hiking an enormous sword further up on his back and securing it more tightly, "Now, let's climb this hill,"

Naruto allowed himself a moment to reflect on Kisame's words before his jaw hit the ground.

"What?" he yelped, "You can't be serious! That's like a sixty degree slope! And what about our luggage?"

"I'm serious," Kisame told him, already starting up the hill and clearly expecting them to follow, "Leave it all here. Someone will come and collect it,"

"But-,"

"Come or stay. It's your choice," Kisame said, turning around. He was already fifteen feet up the slope. Naruto glowered but began the arduous climb, using his hands as often as his feet to get up the side of the treacherous slope. Kisame nodded approvingly and continued to walk. The sound of grunts, complaining, and feet skidding over the grass told Naruto that the other students were following.

"Fucking hell," Naruto swore as he slipped, barely grabbing a tussock of parched grass in time to stop himself from rolling more than fifty feet down the hill. His t-shirt was glued to his back with sweat, the sun's glare was giving him a headache, and his hands were muddy and sore. Needless to say, he wasn't in the best of moods.

"Just stick with it," a voice panted from his left, "It's another test,"

Naruto turned and found himself looking at the boy with the antlers. Up close, he could see that the boy's hair looked like Iruka's, and he had very intelligent eyes. Naruto nodded and forced himself to keep going. He was infuriated by the fact that Kisame wasn't even sweating. Was Naruto really that out of shape?

"This school...had better...be...fucking worth it!" he said, sounded strained. He heard the other students weakly agree with him as they hauled themselves further and further up the hill.

By noon, they were three quarters of the way up. Naruto had been checking his watch at regular intervals for half an hour, and anticipated a break. But, when he slumped down on the hill side, panting, he was yanked to his feet by the arm.

"You can rest and have lunch when you reach the top," Kisame said. Naruto wished he was powerful enough to knock that grin off Kisame's face.

"But-,"

"I hate that fucking word," Kisame said, shocking Naruto dumb for a moment. Surely it was unprofessional of a teacher to use vulgarity...

"Now get your ass to the top of that hill," Kisame continued. Naruto nodded. Groaning, he reluctantly forced himself back up and resumed clambering up the hill.

"So, Kisame," he said, trying to take his mind off the burning in his legs, "What...do you teach?"

"Armed combat," Kisame said with a bloody grin. Naruto grinned back.

"That's awesome!" he whooped, wincing as his excited movements caused his back to crack, "I can't...wait to do that class!"

Kisame didn't look surprised at Naruto's enthusiasm. Afterall, what 16 year old boy _wasn't _interested in learning to fight with deadly weapons?

"What other...teachers are there? Ow, fuck!" he said, ramming his bleeding thumb into his mouth and labouring onwards.

"You didn't read your letter,"

"Nope," Naruto responded cheerfully, despite his pain, "My guardian...snatched it and...orgasmed over their names, but...I...didn't read the...letter myself,"

"He _orgasmed_?" Kisame asked.

"Not...literally," Naruto said, noting that the top of the hill was in sight as he panted, "He just started...yelling about...how amazing you...guys all are and...told me what you've all done. He sounded like such a...nerd,"

"You can just meet them at school," Kisame said, to Naruto's disappointment, "They can explain themselves,"

"Yeah, I...guess," Naruto ground out, "I hope they're not boring assholes, though,"

He grumbled a little more at the thought, and then his expression abruptly brightened as he realised that _he was nearly there_. He ran the last few feet to the top and then collapsed to the ground with his face pressed into the cool grass, lungs aching and legs burning. Dull thuds told him that the other students had also made it to the top, and were resting in similar positions.

"I can't feel my feet," Ino whimpered. Sakura remained silent, aside from her harsh breathing.

"You kids are out of shape," Kisame said, not even sweating. Naruto glowered into the grass.

"It's not our fault you're a leviathan!" Naruto shouted, his voice muffled.

"No, he's my little brother," Kisame answered, his voice amused," I keep him in the lake,"

"Your dad has some freaky fetishes," Naruto informed Kisame.

"You should see my sister," Kisame said, "Let's just say he went back for round two with old Medusa,"

Naruto didn't even think about responding to that one.

"Demigods are so weird," Kiba panted. Naruto looked to the side to find Kiba lying on his back with his tongue lolling out. Naruto turned away from the disgusting sight- the guy was _drooling_!- and forced himself to his feet.

"Are we going to have lunch now?" he asked.

"I guess," Kisame said, ripping the huge sword from his back and slamming it into the ground so that it stood upright in the grass, "In fact, lunch should be arriving right about now,"

An explosion shook the hill, and the blurry image of a picnic blanket and basket slowly became more and more focussed until they sat on the hill top in solid form.

"Was that sorcery?" Sakura asked, sounding awed.

"Yeah," Kisame confirmed, "Witchcraft couldn't do that,"

"What's the difference?" Naruto piped up curiously.

"Witches and warlocks use potions and spells, sorcerers bend spirits and natural energy to their will," Kisame answered shortly, "Now shut up and eat,"

Naruto obeyed without much thought. He was the first to scramble over to the basket and yank it open. At first, he felt cheated. The basket was like a black hole, and it was freezing cold in one compartment, and warm in the other.

"Hey, where's the food?" Naruto asked petulantly.

"What do you want?" Kisame asked.

"Some ramen would be nice," Naruto said angrily. A greenish-grey hand shot out of the depths of the warm side of the basket, writing glinting and shivering like chains on its skin. In its skeletal fingers was a bowl of hot ramen. Naruto stumbled backwards and fell over with a yelp.

"Wow," Kisame grinned, "I didn't expect that,"

"What is it?" Sakura asked fearfully as the arm awkwardly deposited the bowl on the picnic blanket and disappeared into the basket again.

"Probably a devil," Kisame said, finding her fear amusing, "It won't hurt you. A sorcery expert trapped and enslaved it, afterall,"

"I guess," Sakura said nervously, eyeing the basket as though it was about to eat her.

Feeling both reassured and hungry, Naruto sat down and began to eat quickly. When he had finished, he asked for another bowl, and the devil's arm once again supplied one. Naruto thanked it, although he wasn't quite sure why; everyone knew that devils were souls of people who had forgotten who they were when they died, and, as a result, felt a burning, consuming, envious hatred for all living things. They were real problems for ordinary folk, and the only people who appeared to be able to deal with them were expert sorcerers.

"I don't want to go near it," Ino said warily, "Naruto, could you-?"

"What do you want?"

"Just a tuna salad with dressing," she said. No sooner had she spoken, the hand surfaced, balancing a plate of salad on its greenish palm. Naruto took it and passed it to Ino, who thanked him before tucking in.

"I don't know why you're acting like a scared little kid," Naruto told her as he started on his third bowl of ramen, ignoring her angry glare, "I mean, the guy who trapped it probably works at Rouen, so he'll know what he's doing, right?"

Around him, the students seemed to see the logic in that statement and began to line up to get their food. The majority still flinched as the hand produced their food for them, but they didn't seem ready to run screaming anymore. Only one boy, the one with the antlers, appeared unafraid as he collected a burger with fries and sat down near Naruto. He saw Naruto looking at him curiously and spoke through a mouthful of burger, disgusting Ino, who primly moved away.

"It's like you said," he shrugged, "It's not going to hurt us,"

Naruto grinned at him and lay down, closing his eyes.

"Nymph, right?" he asked.

"Just call me Shikamaru. I hate that word," the boy grumbled, "It makes me sound like a troublesome girl,"

"I'm a demon," Naruto shrugged, "That makes me sound like some evil monster from a horror film,"

They lapsed into silence as people ate in silence around them, still uncomfortable in each others presence.

"Well, time to go," Kisame announced.

"But we're not finished!" a girl protested.

"That's not my problem," Kisame said cheerfully, "If you weren't such fearful weaklings, you'd have gotten your lunch immediately,"

"That thing is scary!" the girl shouted, leaping to her feet.

"That thing was sealed by Itachi Uchiha!" Kisame responded thunderously, his eyes suddenly flashing angrily. Kisame was plainly furious that some student would dare to mistrust the work of his colleague. The girl cowered and didn't answer. Kisame's expression had changed so quickly. Naruto could see the god within him now. Only a god would have such fickle moods.

"If you'd told us-," the girl's friend tried.

"Does it make any difference, so long as it was sealed by an expert?" Kisame countered, "Now, come on. None of you, other than demon kid and antler brat, will be having dinner now. Consider that your punishment for failing the third test,"

"What test?" Sakura asked, eyes wide, as she followed, "And it'll take that long to get to school,"

"You should look out for them," Kisame said, ignoring her second question, "I'm constantly testing you. Most don't pass them, though. Only about three people have ever managed to pass all of them,"

"Who passed all of them?" Naruto said, voice heavy with relief that he would be eating tonight.

"Hashirama Senju, Madara Uchiha, and Itachi Uchiha," Kisame reeled off, "Now come on, I want to get there by tonight,"

"All sorcerers," Sakura noted as she followed Kisame as he began his descent down the hill.

"It's not surprising," Shikamaru shrugged, "You have to be the best to become a sorcerer, especially if you're taught here,"

"Yeah, sorcery sounds so cool," Naruto grinned, slipping slightly as he attempted to gain a footing on the grass.

"Don't get excited. Most of you will only be learning the theory," Kisame said, wiping the smile off Naruto's face, "You need a certain amount of sorcerer's blood to be able to pull off the simplest of tasks,"

"How much?" Naruto asked.

"About one-eighth," Kisame said, "If you haven't got that, don't even try,"

"I don't know what I've got," Naruto said, his nose scrunched up in dismay.

"You'll be tested when you get there,"

"More tests?" Naruto groaned, nearly tumbling down the hill as he tripped over a rock.

"You don't need to do anything for that one,"

"Oh, good," Naruto said, skidding the last few feet down the hill, "I hope I do have enough blood, though. I want to be able to trap devils, and make things appear out of thin air,"

"It sounds troublesome," Shikamaru commented.

"Shut up!" Ino snarled, "I want to learn sorcery too,"

"We have wings, Ino," Sakura sighed, wilting slightly, "That means I'm a pure furie, and you're a pure siren. We can still learn witchcraft, though. We just need magical blood for that,"

This did not cheer Ino up, and she continued to look dejected.

"The Black Forest," Kisame announced suddenly. Naruto looked up...and up, and up. The forest was as black as its name promised. The trees were all coniferous, with dark blackish-green needles, and towered above them. They were probably a few hundred feet tall, and the only path through them was a single winding trail that quickly disappeared into the dense darkness.

"Cool," Naruto grinned with awe. Without waiting for Kisame, he walked in. Kisame followed slightly behind, his sword on his enormous shoulder.

"You need to be careful in here," Kisame warned quietly. Naruto felt a little tendril of fear, but quickly pushed it away and ploughed on through the dead wood and toadstools that blanketed the forest floor.

At the sensation of icy fingers on his face, he froze.

"That's not funny, guys," he said.

"What?" Sakura asked, looking at him oddly. Naruto forced a grin onto his face.

"Which one of you just touched my face?" he asked, his heart hammering a little faster as everybody shook their heads in bemusement.

_"Come!"_

"Who said that?" Naruto asked, looking around for the source of that melodious, lustful voice. Around him, silence fell, and the sound of somebody gulping was audible.

"Who said that?" Sakura said again, a little louder this time.

_"Oh, come, thou dear infant! oh come thou with me! For many a game I will play there with thee; on my beach, lovely flowers their blossoms unfold. My mother shall grace thee with garments of gold."_

The sensation of icy fingers gripped Naruto again, and he gasped, batting at the air near his face. He didn't know whether he was relieved that there was nothing there, or frightened out of his wits. Because something _was _there alright. It just wasn't corporal. Was it a devil, like the one in the basket? They could assume solid shapes, and dissolve into the mist as quickly as they came.

"Fog's closing in," Shikamaru drawled, glancing around warily. The girls huddled together. Naruto, Shikamaru and Kiba stood their ground.

_"Wilt go, then, dear infant, wilt go with me there? My daughters shall tend thee with sisterly care. My daughters by night on the dance floor you lead, they'll cradle and rock thee, and sing thee to sleep."_

"Erlkönig!" Shikamaru swore, and terror seized Naruto. One of the girls sobbed. He stood his ground, eyes straining in the mist.

"Where's Kisame?" Kiba asked, his voice awkwardly loud in the silence. They all glanced around wildly. Kisame was no where to be seen, as though he, too, had disappeared into the mist.

"Maybe it got him too!" Ino said suddenly, her wings out protectively. Everybody followed suit, extending claws and teeth. The giant dog Kiba rode whimpered. Naruto's vision turned red as crimson slowly bled across his blue eyes. He didn't bother to transform entirely, because he hated his fox form. His claws lengthened and his teeth grew and sharpened in his mouth as he unfurled nine sleek red tails.

"Don't be stupid," Shikamaru said, although he didn't sound entirely confident, "An erlkönig couldn't get a demigod,"

"Ah, excellent thinking," Kisame's voice said, sounding muffled and terribly far away, "You are correct,"

"Kisame, where are you?" Kiba shouted, "Come on man! It's not funny!"

He started off in the general direction he thought Kisame's voice was coming from. And then a terrible suspicion gripped Naruto.

"No, Kiba!" he said, yanking the adlet back by the arm, "That's not Kisame! He doesn't talk like that!"

The truth penetrated Kiba's frightened brain, and he had the grace to look embarrassed.

"Fuck off!" Naruto shouted, "We're not following you!"

_"I love thee, I'm charm'd by thy beauty, dear boy! And if thou aren't willing, then force I'll employ."_

Something glistened in the shadows. A black-cowled figure stepped forwards, a tendril of mist winding around it like a snake.

"Run!" Naruto roared. The group didn't have to be told twice. Turning tail, they sprinted in the opposite direction. Naruto clumsily tripped on a tree root and crashed to the ground painfully, skinning his hands and knees.

"Naruto!" Ino and Sakura shrieked in unison. Biting their lips, they turned back to help him up, but Shikamaru and Kiba were already standing in front of him protectively as the cowled figure walked across the wood. It creaked and groaned beneath its invisible feet.

"Shit!" Naruto muttered.

"Back off, you creep!" Sakura growled. Naruto felt the urge to laugh. She was terrified of a sealed devil, but not of an erlkönig?

Naruto screwed his eyes shut. He hadn't even gotten to school yet, and already he was in a predicament like this!

Just as Naruto was about to say his last prayers, there was an explosion of leaves and wood and plant matter, and the erlkönig disappeared into the mist, baring its bloody fangs in an enraged snarl.

"You were right, brat," Kisame said calmly with a grin as he leaned against his giant sword, "That little bastard couldn't take me on,"

"That was another test," Shikamaru stated, glaring at Kisame peevishly.

"I don't know what you're talking about, kid," Kisame said, "Come on, let's go,"

"Then where did you go?" Shikamaru said.

"You went the wrong way," Kisame said, striding back up the path. The students retracted their claws and fangs and followed him through a small opening in the trees that was just off the main trail, panting in an effort to keep up. None of them had spotted the other path.

They found themselves standing on a moor. The ground was blanketed in delicate pink heather. On the horizon, the orange sun hung low, turning the lake a burning orange.

"It's about seven o'clock," Kisame informed them. Naruto blinked. Had he been in that forest for five hours? Around him, he could see identical discomfitted expressions of the other student's faces. Surely that amount of time hadn't passed!

"Dinner time," Kisame said. This time, a two plates piled with pizza appeared. Naruto and Shikamaru dug in ravenously, while the others watched miserably, stomachs growling.

"I was planning on going on a diet anyway," Sakura said sadly, eyeing the pizza. Ino nodded in agreement.

Just as Naruto was finishing the last slice, something peculiar happened. At first, Naruto thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. Because the sky never turned that particular shade of blood red on its own. And where had that crimson moon come from?

"Guys, are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

When he didn't receive a reply, he looked back.

He was alone.

"Guys, where did you go?" he called, his voice breaking on the last word, "Shikamaru? Kiba? Kisame?"

Still no reply.

"Ino? Sakura?"

Silence.

"Guys, you're scaring me now," Naruto pleaded, feeling very afraid. Kisame wouldn't let them get hurt, right? But, then, they'd had a pretty close shave with that erlkönig...

"Come on, guys!" he shouted, real panic seizing him in its icy grasp.

There. A figure by the lake.

"Shikamaru, is that you? Kisame?"

Naruto didn't stop to think before he ran down towards the shoreline. As he got closer, he realised that it couldn't possibly be Shikamaru or Kisame. It was too tall to be Shikamaru, and Kisame was head and shoulders taller than this figure. He stopped, leaning on his knees to catch his breath.

"Hey, have you seen a giant blue guy, about this tall?" he asked, stretching his hand above his head to indicate Kisame's height. He looked again, and saw the figure stride across the water.

"Hey, come back!" he called, waving his arm. The figure turned and looked at him before leaping into the air. From the surface of the water erupted a giant serpent with a head the size of a yacht. It roared at him, displaying dirty yellow teeth as long as Naruto's body.

"Kisame's little brother," Naruto whimpered to himself, "Right,"

It lowered its ponderous head. He flinched, but it made no move to swallow him. The figure was standing on its head. He or she was now ten feet above Naruto's head.

"Hello, Naruto-kun,"

Male then. And Japanese, by the sounds of it. Or at least fluent in the language.

"Who are you?" Naruto asked, "And have you seen a big blue guy?"

"Oh yes," the man murmured, "I have,"

Naruto waited for him to elaborate, but he did not continue.

"Can you tell me where he is?" Naruto tried. His voice sounded oddly tinny, as though he was speaking into a metal cannister.

The man jumped off the serpents head and landed by Naruto's side on the shore. The serpent gave a great sigh, and then its nostrils slammed shut with an almighty concussion before it sank beneath the water like a four hundred foot crocodile.

"Walk with me, Naruto-kun," the man said. Naruto followed reluctantly. Truthfully, he was a little worried about what might happen if he went with this person, but he was more worried about the serpent changing its mind and deciding to make him its dinner.

"Where are we going?" he asked. The man did not answer, and pulled his hood further over his face. His hands looked human. They were slender and elegant, with a single ring on the left ring finger and purple nails.

"Are you taking me to my friends?"

Again, no answer. So Naruto lapsed into a sullen, frightened silence and followed obeidiantly. He glanced around himself, expecting to see something leap out at him. He was so preoccupied that he didn't notice the man stop, and walked straight into him.

"S-Sorry," he spluttered, red-faced. The man didn't seem offended. But Naruto couldn't see his face, so he couldn't be sure. He looked around again, and shivered out of fear. The lake was no where in sight. They were standing at the bottom of a ravine. Two paths branched out, going up the sides. They were cut into the rock and polished to perfection. Naruto couldn't recall walking down a sheer wall. In fact, he wasn't even sure he was capable of that.

"Where are we?" he asked. The man, as usual, remained silent. He pressed his hands together, as though praying, and then drew them apart. Between them was a glistening, gossamer bubble that grew and grew. And then it was suddenly glass, and the man held it gently in one elegant palm.

"You wish to know your friends' fate?" he asked softly.

"Well, yeah!" Naruto grinned, "Are you going to show me?"

The man blew lightly on the glass orb, and crystals of ice formed on its surface. Then, fire raced over it.

"Hold it to you ear and you will hear their voices," the man said. Naruto did as he was asked.

_"Help! Help me! Somebody, please, help!"_

A desperate cry. Ino

_"Ahhhhhhh!"_

A pained scream. Kiba.

_"No, stop! Please stop! I can't take it anymore!"_

A sobbed plea. Sakura.

_"You...bastard,"_

A defiant proclaimation, cut off by a sickening gurgle. Shikamaru.

_"No, no! I'll do anything!"_

_"Please, please don't!"_

_"Help me, somebody!"_

_"Help, help! Oh, it hurts so much!"_

An agonised plea for mercy, from those four girls whose names he did not know.

"No!" Naruto screamed, yanking the glass orb away from his ear. It burned white-hot, and he dropped it with a gasp of pain. When it hit the floor, it popped like a bubble.

"What did you do to them, you bastard?" Naruto growled, pointing accusingly at the man. The man raised one slim finger and pointed to the path on the left.

"This path will lead you to your deepest desire," he intoned softly. Then, he pointed to the right path.

"This one will lead you to suffering. You will lose a finger for every mile you tread, and spikes will gouge your flesh like meat hooks. Your friends are down the path of suffering," he informed Naruto tonelessly. He raised his hand, and, upon his palm was a slowly melting clock. There were thirteen hours on it, and Naruto could see that he didn't have long to get them back if he chose to do so.

"Time ticks away, child. You have till the thirteenth hour to bring them back," the man said, "If, of course, you decide you want to bring them back,"

Naruto tried to imagine what it would feel like to lose a finger, but he couldn't. The closest he'd come to such damage was the time he'd broken a toe as a child, and that had hurt enough. He imagined that losing a finger would be excruciating.

And how would it feel to have meat hooks shredding though his flesh like he was a pig carcus? He shivered at the thought. It would be like getting stabbed, but the wounds would be tugged mercilessly. Could he do it? Could he do it for those people that he had only met today? Could he suffer for them? He was a very compassionate person, but, really, the prospect of losing fingers and getting his flesh torn would make anyone think about it a little before they charged in.

He thought about it. He recalled the way they had all stood in the way of the erlkönig, risking themselves to protect him, and clenched his fists with determination. He was going to do it. And they had better appreciate it when he came for them.

Squaring his shoulders, he took a deep breath and stepped onto the right path. At first, nothing happened, and Naruto began to believe that this was all a hoax.

But then the agony started.

Naruto sank to his knees, screaming, as pain lanced through his limbs and back and face like somebody was holding a white-hot poker to his skin. But he had to keep going. He stumbled to his feet and tried to ignore the blood dripping down his face and arms. He tried to ignore the pain, biting his tongue until it, too, bled, and trudged on.

He reached a sign with a red number 1 on it, and his thumb snapped off. He shrieked, clutching the bleeding stump, and, after a moment of indecisiveness, picked up up with trembling hands and slipped it into his pocket, hoping that he'd somehow be able to reattach it later on. Around him, he could see the black trees of the forest, and he shuddered as he looked around for the erlkönig. Blood matted his hair to his scalp and ran into his eyes and mouth. Blinded and choking, he pressed on. He paused to wipe his face, tears sliding down his cheeks, and his index finger broke off. This time, he was ready. He held out a hand and caught it, putting it into his pocket next to his thumb.

At mile 3, he stumbled and fell to his knees, but caught his middle finger and forced himself to his knees. Trembling with pain and fatigue, he staggered on.

At the fourth mile, his resolve was severely tested. He had difficulty picking up his ring finger with his blood-soaked hands, and sank to the ground with a sob. But then his scrabbling fingers caught it, and he slipped it into his pocket.

He fell again later on, and lurched to his feet in time to lose the last finger on his right hand. He stuffed it into his pocket, his breathing ragged. He paused to drink from a puddle, and grimaced at his bloody reflection. He looked like something from a horror film. He didn't dwell on what he looked like, and kept going, blood sheeting down his body. He didn't know how he hasn't passed out from bloodloss yet.

Two miles later, he was unable to pick his finger up with his hands, and grasped it in his teeth instead as he lay on the floor. Gagging, he dropped it into his shirt pocket on the first try and kept going. He was making constant sobbing noises by this point, and could barely bring himself to continue. But he did. By the ninth finger, he had mastered the hang of getting it from his mouth and into his pocket, although his vision was shifting from black to white to normal constantly. When he reached mile ten, he fell to his knees, whimpering, as his gaze went fuzzy and he lost his last finger.

"I did it, you bastard! he slurred through a mouthful of blood as the sensation of hooks tearing into his body stopped.

"So you did," the man said, sounding pleased, for some odd reason. Naruto blinked as sunlight dazzled his gaze, and looked into a pair of dark eyes. And then they were gone.

"You did great, brat!" Kisame said, hauling Naruto to his feet. Naruto then realised that he wasn't covered in blood, and his fingers were still attached, and the sky was blue shot with violet and yellow, the sun was orange on the horizon as it set, and all was well. The other students were all there, looking fairly shaken but unhurt. He glance up at the towering castle school he stood in front of. When the other students saw him, they rushed over and began to talk all at once.

"What was that?" Naruto asked weakly, ignoring them.

"Sorcery," Kisame said, "It was the fifth test. Congratulations on passing with flying colours,"

"Fifth test?"

"Tsunade will explain,"

"Was it real?" Naruto mumbled.

"No," Kisame said, with a snigger, "Itachi's too nice to actually chop your fingers off,"

"Not nice enough if he'd still torture me, though," Naruto said, "_That _was Itachi Uchiha?"

"Yeah," Kisame said, grin widening until it was very creepy indeed, "How did you like his work?"

"_That_,"Naruto declared, "Was the biggest mindfuck in the history of the universe,"

"I'm sure he'll be pleased to hear that,"

Naruto rolled his eyes and wiped his face. The tears had been real then. At that moment, there was only one thought going through his head: if that was the entrance exam, what was the actually school going to be like?

* * *

Thank you for all of your reviews last time. I hope this chapter is suitably tense and interesting. Sasuke will be introduced in the next chapter. And all will be explained then too.

Please review! The more I get, the more motivated I am to produce new chapters. See how fast I churned this monster out? I can do that again, if you'll just review.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 3:

The entrance to Rouen that they used on this occasion was a forty foot black ebony door which swung open, seemingly without any human intervention, to admit the group of frightened, weary students. As soon as the last person was in, the door slammed shut abruptly, shrouding them in utter darkness. But Naruto remained unafraid. After the erlkönig and Itachi's trial, Naruto felt that he could truly face anything without fear. Well, save a world without ramen, that is. Naruto would prefer to face Itachi's trial again than go through such unimaginable torture.

The floor beneath their feet was hard, uneven stone, and they stepped in puddle every now and again. Water dripped eerily, the _plop _sound echoing in the stillness. Ahead was a greenish light, bobbing blearily. As they drew closer, Naruto could see that the light was a lantern, held by long, greying, barbed fingers.

"New students?" came a raspy voice. As the figure turned towards them, lifting the light higher, Naruto could see a shrunken grey face that looked like a skull coated in slime, with two dark voids where its eyes should be. Naruto heard Sakura whimper and felt her clutch his arm.

"Yeah," Kisame responded cheerfully, "These are the brats Tsunade told you about, Algol,"

"I'll need to make certain," Algol said. Naruto could vaguely make out Kisame's massive shoulders shrugging permission in the darkness. He squeaked when Algol came out of the shadows and advanced on them. He heard the girls scoot backwards, and felt like following suit when that skull face came closer.

"Naruto Uzumaki," Algol intoned raspily.

"Nice to meet you," Naruto tried weakly as Algol sniffed him, his crooked nose brushing Naruto's cheek. Algol's breath was worse than his voice, and rattled in his chest like a death rattle.

"You completed Itachi's challenge," Algol said, holding the lantern closer to Naruto's face. Naruto didn't know why he did that; it wasn't as though Algol would have been able to see even in bright sunlight, owing to his lack of eyes.

"Didn't everyone?" Naruto asked, confused. Behind him, he heard Kisame chuckle.

"Oh no," Algol said, grinning. Blackened teeth were exposed, and his cheekbones stood out in harsh relief, "Nobody has ever completed Itachi's challenge before. Some came close, but...,"

"But?" Naruto said, when Algol made no move to finish what he was saying.

"Most take the path of desire, believing they may trick the illusion into returning their friends to them. What they find there is not their heart's desire. They are confronted with their worst nightmare," Algol hissed, spittle hitting Naruto's face.

"What nightmare is that?" Naruto asked, taking a step backwards.

"Itachi, in the guise of death, holds the severed, contorted heads of their friends in his hands as he sits upon a throne made from their bodies," Algol explained, causing Naruto to shiver at the macabre image that description evoked. He heard two of the girls sob, and knew that they had witnessed, first hand, what it was like to come across that.

"This is punishment for their willingness to take short-cuts. One needs to be willing to make the sacrifice in order to gain the reward," Algol said. Naruto swallowed as Algol passed him by, sniffing Sakura's cheek, whose eyes were wide in the faint green light, and then Ino's, whose skin looked as grey as Algol's.

"Of those that attempt the challenge, most collapse, screaming, as soon as they lose their first finger," Algol said, "Like you, Sakura Haruno, and you, Ino Yamanaka,"

Sakura gasped, a tear trickling out of her eye. Ino sank her teeth into her lip harshly, blood dripping down her chin.

"I tried," Sakura gasped, "But it hurt too much!"

Algol ignored her and advanced on Shikamaru, who looked defiant.

"A small number lose the majority of their fingers and attempt to keep going, but are unable to fight the pain so they may stand tall and continue their quest," Algol said softly, "Like you, Shikamaru Nara,"

Shikamaru glared him down defiantly. Algol's black smile returned to his face.

"Some break, howling like animals at the red, red moon," Algol breathed, his long nose close to Kiba's face, "Tsukoyomi...yes, that is what they call Itachi. In his illusion, he is the god of the moon, but also of the sun, and the stars, and the very air you breathe- because, when you are trapped by his art, _he rules all_,"

"I know," Kiba said, sounding angry with an undertone of fear, "How could I not?"

Algol regarded them with that terrible smile again. His gaping, gleeful mouth was a further black hole in his face.

"Follow me," he said suddenly, "I will lead you to the light,"

They followed silently, save for Kisame, who seemed to find humming an old tune appropriate in the currently strained atmosphere. Naruto thought about telling him to shut up, but he didn't want to be punished by a teacher at _this _school.

He was inwardly proud that he had been able to complete the challenge, but, at the same time, he was angry at Itachi Uchiha for putting him through such hardship. He expected one hell of an explanation when they met properly for the first time.

"Are the other brats already here?" Kisame asked Algol, seemingly unafraid of a man who had a face like a storybook zombie.

"They are waiting for these nine students," Algol said. Naruto noticed that he walked with a staff, which made dull thumps and splashing sounds as it hit the floor.

"How are their files?"

"In order, according to Kakashi," Algol said, "He may be a slothful fool, but he would never shirk his duty, so I am inclined to believe him,"

Naruto was about to open his mouth to complain about the musty smell when Algol stopped and banged his staff on the floor three times. In answer, a door that was not previously there appeared on the wall and swung open. Drawing back with a hiss, Algol slipped into the shadows as bright light flooded in.

"Come on, brats," Kisame said, stepping through the door at a hunch, as he was so tall, "It was great talking to you, Algol,"

Algol said nothing, and the door slammed shut. They were now in a corridor with a low, stone ceiling and plastered walls with torch brackets mounted on them. Curiously, there were no torches, but there were red teardrops made from glass slotted into the brackets. Within them were chunks of stone which glowed fiercely.

"Draconite," Kisame said as he began to walk down the corridor, his head brushing the ceiling.

"What?" Naruto asked stupidly.

"The stone from the brain of a dragon," Sakura informed him, "They glow for thousands of years after you extract them. But you have to do it when the dragon's still alive, or they turn to mush,"

"Kakashi acquired them," Kisame said, stopping at the end of the corridor, "We were spending too much on oil. Now come on before I leave you here,"

Naruto took one last look at a teardrop lantern and gently prodded it. It fell to the floor with a dully ringing sound. He flinched.

"You touched it, didn't you?" Kisame said flatly.

"Yes," Naruto admitted with a wince.

"Just hurry up, or I'll leave you with Algol,"

It was no idle threat. Naruto was immediately jogging at Kisame's side as the demigod strode swiftly ahead. He could hear the others nearby, and knew they didn't want to meet up with Algol again either.

The corridor branched off into a narrow, twisting passage way. The floor beneath their feet was marble, and Naruto could see his weary reflection in it.

"Brace yourselves," Kisame warned suddenly. Naruto opened his mouth to reply, and bit his tongue as the world suddenly flipped the wrong way.

"What the hell's going on?" Naruto yelled along with eight other people's exclamations.

"Another security measure," Kisame grunted, "You'd be surprised by how many people target this school,"

"It's a fucking crazy security measure!" Naruto snarled.

"Yeah, I don't think tipping any criminals upside down will deter them," Shikamaru sighed.

"Nobody gets past Algol," Kisame said with a grin that told them he knew something they didn't.

"He doesn't look so tough," Naruto said, "He's got no eyes!"

"He's a ghoul," Kisame said, and Naruto was almost sure that he would have rolled his eyes if he was capable of the action, "They're not meant to have eyes. That doesn't make them any less powerful,"

"But what if they do get past Algol?" Shikamaru said, voicing the question that was on everybody's minds.

"Then they might find this passageway," Kisame said, "But if they're not meant to be here...well, look up,"

They did, and Naruto realised that he could not see a roof. With a surge of horror, he also realised that anybody who was not supposed to be there would drop head first into the abyss. He hoped the magic wouldn't malfunction while he was there.

"What else is there to stop people who shouldn't be here?"

"We don't need anything else," Kisame said, "The teachers are the next line of defence. After a little addition, anyway,"

"An addition?" Kiba asked, cleaning the fur on his hand with his tongue. The giant dog crouched behind him in the tunnel, looking as scared as a cat in a tree.

"The floor falls away if you go into the next room, but it's child's play getting past that if you're skilled enough to get past Algol and this," Kisame said, "That's when the teachers have to show the bastards why we were handpicked for Rouen,"

"Well, if you've got Mr Mindfuck, I don't think you'll have any problems kicking a trespasser's ass," Naruto stated with a scowl.

"He really pissed you off, didn't he?"

"You go through that and see if you still like him," Naruto glowered.

"You'll grow to love him," Kisame said cheerfully.

"Yeah right!" Naruto said sarcastically.

"Is that a doorway?" one of the girls who had completely failed Itachi's test said, pointing. Naruto frowned. The door at the end of the corridor was made from some kind of red wood- cedar, perhaps? - and was only about three feet high. How were they supposed to get through that?

Kisame used the brass lion-shaped knocker to knock the door. His hand looked enormous.

"Yeah?" came a nasally voice. The knocker blinked as though it had just woken up from a long nap and yawned. The ring used for the knocking was looped through the lion's nostrils, and explained why the knocker sounded like it had a cold.

"Res ipsa loquitur," Kisame stated. The knocker nodded and the door expanded until it was as tall as Kisame.

"Go od den," It said as the door swung inwards. The students followed Kisame through.

They had entered a room that was both extremely long and extremely narrow. It was perhaps twelve feet across, but could have easily been more than a hundred feet long. In the centre of the room was a narrow path made from pure white marble slabs. On either side were columns which echoed the architecture of Ancient Greece and stretched down into seemingly endless black chasms. If somebody walked too close to the edge of the walkway and fell, they would almost certainly meet their demise when they hit the bottom- wherever that was, anyway.

"Stop gawping and walk, kid," Kisame muttered, nudging Naruto in a way that was supposed to be gentle, but sent him flying forwards. For one heart-stopping moment, he teetered on the edge of the chasm, but was able to regain his balance just in time.

"You bastard!" he screeched, rounding on an amused Kisame and pointing at him accusingly, "I could have died! You're the biggest jerk in the history of jerks, you...you jerk!"

"Get on the path," Kisame said, and Naruto obeyed instantly. Next time, he may not be so lucky.

Gingerly, he stepped onto the path and began to follow it. At the far end of the room, he could see rows of benches on a raised platform where some people appeared to be sitting. They had to be the students who hadn't been tested because they were so well-known to Rouen already. On a dais which was elevated to an even greater height sat a number of people who Naruto knew were the teachers. He could make out no features, but he had the odd feeling that they were starting at him and the other students.

"This had better be worth it," Naruto grumbled again, "I'll definitely give that Itachi bastard a piece of my mind,"

"Go ahead," Kisame smirked, "He'll probably laugh,"

Naruto bristled like an angry cat.

"Just shut up, Naruto," Shikamaru said, "You'll only get even more pissed when he says something else you don't like,"

"But-,"

"Shut up, brat," Kisame said as they mounted the raised platform that the other students were sitting on.

Shikamaru immediately slumped into the nearest vacant seat, which happened to be near a beautiful brunet who had strikingly pale eyes. The brunet scooted away a little, glaring at the newcomer, but Shikamaru simply snorted.

"Keep your panties on," he said, to the brunet's evident affront, "I don't have cooties, you know,"

Naruto sniggered, and those pale glaring eyes were turned on him instead.

"What, pray tell, is so amusing?" the brunet asked in a cold, patronising voice. Naruto's hackles immediately rose.

"Shut your mouth, you prissy little bitch!" he snapped, "It's not my fault your head is so far up your own ass that you couldn't pull it out with a rope and a tractor!"

That stunned the brunet into silence. Sakura gaped for a moment, and then quickly hid a smirk, as did Ino. She soon sat down, as did Naruto beside her. They were in the front row. Sakura smiled at him and opened her mouth to say something. Then, she froze, her smile slipping off her face like oil on glass. It was replaced by a faintly glazed look as she stared past Naruto. Ino followed her line of gaze and was also struck dumb. Feeling confused, and worried that his mind would be messed with again if he turned to look in the same direction, Naruto reluctantly turned to look.

It was a boy. An exceptionally handsome boy with dark, blue-tinted hair and pale skin, but a boy nonetheless. Naruto couldn't see his face properly, as he had long bangs which hid his face from his mouth upwards from view, but Naruto was certain he had one of those model faces- all angular cheekbones, perfect skin and a perfectly straight nose. Yes, Naruto could see why the girls would flip over him, but, still, there was no reason to scare him like that!

"A guy," he said angrily, "What they hell, guys? You freaked me out over a guy? Don't do that! I thought Mr Mindfuck was playing one of his tricks again!"

"He's so hot!" Sakura squeaked to Ino.

"You haven't even seen his face properly," Naruto countered, rolling his eyes, "He could have one huge eye in the middle of his forehead or something!"

"Shut up, Naruto," Sakura sighed as she stared adoringly at the dark haired teenager.

"Don't blame me if he turns out to be completely hideous," Naruto warned, rolling his eyes at Kiba, who was sitting next to a small but pretty girl with dark hair and the same pale eyes as the brunet. Kiba was, unsurprisingly, receiving evil looks from that pale eyed brunet.

"Must be her brother or something," Naruto muttered, glancing back at Sakura's and Ino's crush absentmindedly.

Two impossibly dark eyes stared back from a pale, perfect face. He distantly heard Sakura and Ino squeal and triumphantly proclaim that the boy wasn't a cyclops, and was as perfect as they'd thought.

He'd seen those eyes before. Two black, black eyes like two peat pools sucking you down.

_Itachi Uchiha,_ he thought with a jolt. But that was stupid. Itachi was a teacher, not a student, and the eyes weren't exactly the same. They were more masculine, with shorter, less thick eyelashes, and they didn't possess the same reddish sheen Itachi's did.

"See something you like, loser?" the boy said suddenly. His teeth were even whiter than his skin, and his voice was a low, purring tenor. It annoyed Naruto. Was this boy perfect in every way?

And then he realised the boy was talking to him, and sprang to his feet.

"Shut up, you bastard!" he snapped loudly, drawing the attention of everyone in the room, "I was just wondering why somebody was mooning me, but then I realised that it was your face. Sorry, my mistake,"

"Naruto!" Sakura and Ino bellowed in unison, punching him in the head while Shikamaru and Kiba tried to disguise their laughter with coughs. Naruto crumpled to the floor, dazed.

"We're sorry about him," Sakura tittered awkwardly to the dark haired teenager, "We try to keep him on his medication, but I guess he didn't take it today!"

"Hn," the boy muttered, smirking at Naruto. Naruto glared back. He then turned back to the dais, ignoring the girls' apology on Naruto's behalf. Naruto followed his example.

"Now that your little performance is over with," a teacher said, his face hidden behind an orange book that had a cover that made Naruto blush uncomfortably, "Maybe we can begin,"

"On time, Kakashi?" Kisame asked with a sharp-toothed grin from his chair, which was to the left of the centre of the row of chairs, "That's got to be a first,"

"Probably," Kakashi Hatake said breezily, pocketing the book. He was wearing a mask which covered his lower face and an eye patch, and his thick grey hair was wild and gravity-defying. They could tell that he was smiling only because of the way his eyes arched into happy little crescents. He was wearing the black and green robes of the warlock, and there was a tiny "_μ__I" _on his high collar, showing that he was a warlock of the highest level.

_This _guy was that amazing warlock Iruka had told Naruto about? He seemed to be a perverted eccentric, from what Naruto had seen so far.

"How did you guys like my test?" Kakashi said, his eyes closed as he smiled happily.

"Was that the erlkönig test?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yep," Kakashi smiled.

"We hated it," Naruto declared, "It was almost as bad as Mr Mindfuck's test!"

"Mr...Mindfuck?" Kakashi asked, before the entire row of teachers burst into laughter, with the exception of Kisame, who had heard it before. Beside Kisame was an empty chair, presumably for Itachi, who didn't seemed to have arrived yet. Naruto was sure he'd recognise that guy's eyes if he saw them again, and none of the teachers had eyes that looked anything like Itachi's.

"Are you...talking about...Itachi?" the woman in the centre of the table asked, attempting to breathe through her laughter. She had the largest chest Naruto had ever seen, and was clad in the same blue and gold robes as Kisame. She was a demigod and, judging by her position on the table, she was the Mistress of Rouen. Naruto was momentarily distracted by her boobs, but managed to reply.

"Yeah," he said, to renewed laughter. By this time, the students were seriously questioning the sanity of their teachers.

"That's a good one," the Mistress of Rouen said, "I like you, kid,"

Then, she took a deep breath.

"Shizune! Where's my alcohol?" she bellowed, deafening everyone in the room. As she moved, Naruto spotted the Greek letter _zeta _on her collar, and was impressed. The daughter of Zeus, was she? Naruto would make sure never to piss _her _off. If she didn't flatten him, daddy probably would.

"Right here, M'Lady," a mousy woman said from the end of the table, tossing a huge bottle of wine in the Mistress' direction. The students watched, wide-eyed, as she ripping off the cork (taking some of the neck with it) and poured the entire bottle down her throat.

"Ah," she said, wiping her mouth, "That hit the spot. Now, where's Itachi?"

"Dealing with a class I poltergeist," Kisame said, "He should be back soon,"

"We're going to have to start without him," the Mistress sighed, looking displeased at the prospect.

"He said he'd be back by the end of the welcoming. Unlike Kakashi-," Kisame looked at Kakashi, who winked cheerily back, "-he's always on time,"

"Aren't you worried?" Sakura asked suddenly, eyes wide, "Poltergeists are awful!"

"Not really," the Mistress smirked, "He can handle it. He's handled worse,"

Naruto snorted to himself, and happened to glance in the dark haired boy's direction. For some reason, the guy clenched his fist whenever Itachi Uchiha's name was mentioned. It was strange- almost as though he hated the guy.

The dark haired boy saw him looking, and glared in his direction. That was another difference between Itachi's and this boy's eyes. This boy's eyes were churning with angst and hatred and ambition. Naruto glared back for a moment, and then looked back to the dais.

"Alright, Ibiki," the Mistress said, "Start,"

A huge man with a heavy scarred head stood up. He was almost as tall as Kisame, and was dressed in the same robes as Kakashi.

"My test was the first test," Ibiki said with a grin that made Ino shrink back, "Kisame burst through the ground and put on a display unlike anything you've encountered so far. All of you failed that test. You freaked out, not expecting it to happen. The moral of the story? Constant vigilance,"

He sat down, leaving everybody feeling shaken.

"Kisame," the Mistress said, morosely tipping the bottle upside down. A drop of red wine fell out.

"I tested you brats physically," Kisame stated with his trademark jagged grin, "You had to climb that hill using nothing but your hands and feet. If you had used any special abilities, you would have failed. But you didn't, and you passed. I hope you all know that you're weak,"

Naruto growled to himself. Sure, he had been sweating like a pig on a spit when he'd finally finished, but at least he'd done it!

"My turn!" Tsunade said cheerily, standing up. She didn't even sway, which Naruto saw as an accomplishment. That bottle of wine had been huge.

"I," she said, pointing at herself, "Tested how much you trust us. I had Itachi bind a devil in that picnic basket. To pass, you had to approach the basket and take your lunch from the devil's hand without fear. Two people managed that-," She pulled a piece of paper out of her robes and read from it.

"Demon kid and Antler brat," she said. Naruto glared at her, while Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"The rest of you failed," she stated, and she miraculously looked like the teacher she was, "You need to be able to trust us on every issue. If you don't, you're idiots. Kakashi,"

No answer. He was reading that orange book, snickering to himself.

"Kakashi!"

Another snicker. And then the book flew out of his hands. He looked like a forlorn puppy as he watched it land in the hands of a cloaked figure who had appeared in the room with the stealth of creeping mist. Naruto saw the dark haired boy stiffen out of the corner of his eye.

"Kakashi-san, you should listen when Tsunade-sama talks to you," the cloaked man said in a voice that Naruto recognised.

"What's with the cloak, Itachi?" Kisame asked with a grin, confirming Naruto suspicions, "Trying to add a bit of mystery?"

"No," Itachi said as he glided across the room to take his seat next to Kisame, "It was cold in northern Scotland. Kakashi-san, please continue. I apologise for the interruption, Tsunade-sama,"

Tsunade waved her hand dismissively, and turned to Kakashi. But Naruto was too busy staring at Itachi, who had yet to remove his cloak. Naruto felt the overwhelming need to see this guy's face. The dark haired boy was regarding Naruto angrily as he stared, and Naruto felt that anything that pissed that guy off was worth doing, so he kept staring.

"My test was the erlkönig test, as you already know," Kakashi said. His expression was abruptly serious, and Naruto decided to pay attention.

"I deliberately planted a wire that would cause somebody to trip over. Those of you who ran, leaving your friend to fight it on your own...congratulations! You...are...trash!" Kakashi said with a smile, "My test was a test of teamwork and comradeship. Sakura Haruno, Ino Yamanaka, Kiba Inuzuka, Shikamaru Nara and Naruto Uzumaki...you all passed. The rest of you have a long way to go before I will consider you worth anything,"

With that harsh statement, Kakashi sat down, and Itachi tossed his book back. The girls who had failed looked shame-faced.

Gracefully, Itachi stood and unbuttoned his cloak before removing it entirely. Naruto gawped from the dark haired boy to Itachi Uchiha and back again repeatedly. At first glance, they were identical. Both were incredibly handsome, both were pale as moonlight, and both had the same sable hair. But then Naruto looked closer. Itachi seemed to be taller, and had long hair he tied back with a thin black ribbon. His hair was a fraction lighter than the dark haired boy's, and, across his cheeks were two livid lines, which, combined with the bangs that framed his face, seemed to point towards his striking eyes, making them the focal point of his entire face. Those peat pool eyes seemed to flash red on occasion, and could suck you in like quicksand. He was wearing the robes of a sorcerer; a black sleeveless gown edged in purple, with a small silver _Ἑκάτη_ _I_ on his snugly-fitting collar. Around his upper arm was a thick silver bracelet decorated with patterns of flying crows.

And then he spoke in his melodious voice that was gentler and less brusque than his younger almost-twin's, and everybody stopped to listen with wide eyes.

"My test was a test of sacrifice," Itachi said, his eyes flickering from face to face. Naruto almost forgot that he was pissed at this guy.

"You may consider my test an extension of Kakashi-san's. I wished to find out exactly what you would sacrifice in order to reach your goal, but mine was also a test of moral fibre. Some of you are lazy and would achieve your aims through short-cuts and cheating. This I saw when you chose the left path, hoping to trick me into returning your friends. In the real world, such an attitude is the mark of an inferior mind,"

The girls who had done exactly this could not look him in the eye.

"Furthermore, it shows that you do not value the lives of your peers. You preferred to take a gamble, rather than follow my instructions. Had that been a real situation, my mirage may have become a reality,"

The girls looked stricken at this.

"There were those who were more admirable, and attempted the painful journey. All but one of you failed. But the very fact that you attempted to complete the challenge shows great valour, and a compassionate nature. You were willing to brave that pain for people you had met mere hours ago,"

"Does it matter when we met them?" Shikamaru asked, "They're still our friends,"

That was, apparently, the correct thing to say. Itachi smiled slightly, appearing pleased. Naruto looked at the dark haired boy again, gauging his reaction. The boy's face was blank, but there was an undertone of something like admiration. Naruto was confused. This boy had been clenching his fist whenever Itachi Uchiha's name was mentioned earlier. Was he bipolar or something?

"Naruto Uzumaki," Itachi said. He sounded very close...

"Gah!" Naruto yelped, leaping up and scrambling backwards, knocking over a chair. Sakura sighed. But Itachi was literally a foot away from him! How had he moved so quickly and silently?

Itachi raised a perfect eyebrow.

"Don't scare me like that!" Naruto said.

"Then pay attention," Itachi said. Naruto didn't know what to say to that, and settled for scowling.

"Naruto-kun is the first person to complete my challenge," Itachi resumed, "He demonstrated great strength of character and a hardworking nature, and all of you, those who failed my test utterly in particular, should attempt to follow his example. From what I have observed thus far, he is brash, more obtuse than most, and, in some ways, annoying,"

"Hey!" Naruto interjected, affronted. He pointed at Itachi, and Sakura placed a hand over her eyes as she exasperatedly tried to tug his arm down.

"I fail to recall saying that those are bad qualities," Itachi said. Naruto's arm flopped to his side.

"Sit down and shut up, idiot," the dark haired boy snorted, "You're giving me a headache,"

"Oh yeah?" Naruto snarled, turning to the teenager, "I'll give _you _a headache when I punch you in your pretty face!"

"As if you could, moron," the dark haired boy shot back with a smirk.

"Why you-!"

"Sasuke," Itachi said sharply, "Stop provoking him,"

"Sorry," Sasuke said reluctantly. He didn't sound sorry at all.

"Now _that's _over with," Tsunade said with a smirk, sipping a bottle of gin that she had procured from _somewhere_, "Let's give them the basics,"

"Basics?" Naruto asked. There was a resounding gulp.

* * *

Thank you for all of your amazing reviews. I feel so motivated! Keep em coming, guys! They feed both my ego and my muse.

I have decided to add appendices in every chapter in the future, because I make obscure references to mythology, history and the occult that some people may not get. In this chapter, I'll be including appendices for chapters 1 and 2 aswell.

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**Chapter 1:**

1) Duke Andre de Rouen/ The Rouen School For Supernatural Beings: Rouen is a city in Normandy, France, that was made famous when Joan of Arc was burned at the stake there in 1431. During the middle ages, the ruling class of England was descended from the French William, Duke of Normandy, who became William the Conqueror in 1066 when he conquered England. Rouen the man is fictional, but, in this story, he's a distant relative of the royal family. His name literally means "Andre of Rouen". Names like this are more common than one would think. Leonardo da Vinci's full name was Leonardo de ser Piero da Vinci, which means "Leonardo, son of Piero, of Vinci".

2) The school: I have based the layout of the castle roughly upon the layout of Windsor Castle, the British Queen's principle residence.

3) Why do students get their letters on the Summer Solstice? Because, in ancient rituals, the Summer Solstice was one of the most important days of the year, and it has long been associated with magic.

4) Oxbridge: An abbreviation for Oxford and Cambridge, the two most prestigious universities in the UK.

5) What is C4? A powerful explosive, which Mythbusters fans will recognise.

6) Why are gorgon tears and unicorn semen so volatile? I really wasn't expecting anybody other than a true geek to get this reference. Basically, Medusa was originally a virgin priestess of Athena in the Parthenon. She was never allowed to have sex. That's why semen and gorgon tears don't mix.

7) The school's crest: The Athenian owl symbolises wisdom. It was the companion of Athena, who was the Goddess of Wisdom. It became the symbol of Athens, which took its name from Athena. On a side note, Athens could have chosen Poseidon as their patron God, but didn't. An annulet is a finger ring that symbolises justice and fidelity when used on crests and coats of arms. The Latin phrase _Scientia est potentia_ is the age-old adagium "for knowledge itself is power". It was first stated in this form by Francis Bacon in 1597, but the phrase "knowledge is power" dates back to the Anglo Saxon age.

8) "They say he can summon Hades himself!": I'm sure everybody has heard of Hades, the Lord of the Dead and King of the Underworld, right?

**Chapter 2:**

1) Furies: The Roman word for the Greek Erinyes, woman-bird hybrids. They are female deities of vengeance supernatural personifications of the anger of the dead. They fit Sakura well, considering her terrible temper.

2) Sirens: In Greek mythology, the Sirens were three dangerous bird-women, portrayed as seductresses. Roman poets placed them on an island called Sirenum scopuli. The Argonaut Jason had been warned by Chiron, a benevolent, learned centaur (a rarity in Ancient Greece) that Orpheus (the famous musician who charmed Cerberus with his lyre so that he could bring his wife Eurydice back from Hades) would be necessary in his journey. When Orpheus heard their voices, he drew out his lyre and played his music more beautifully than them, drowning out their voices. Odysseus (the hero of The Odyssey) was curious as to what the Sirens sounded like, so, on Circe's (a sorcerer and minor goddess of magic) advice, he had all his sailors plug their ears with beeswax and tie him to the mast. He ordered his men to leave him tied to the mast, no matter how much he would beg. When he heard their beautiful song, he ordered the sailors to untie him but they bound him tighter.

3) Adlets: In Inuit mythology, adlets are monsters who are the offspring of a woman and a red dog. They are vampiric, which is the reason Kiba seems kind of glad that Kisame may splat everywhere- it's a meal for him.

4) Kisame, son of Poseidon: The Greek gods like the ladies. Some also liked the men, but that's another story for another time. Kisame's mother is a fictional sea nymph who had the tail of a shark.

5) _Pi:_ The Greek letter that is the first letter of Poseidon's name.

6) Kisame's robes: Blue and gold, for the Ancient Egyptians, symbolised divinity. Kisame's a demigod. Do the maths.

7) Shikamaru, the nature nymph: Nymphs come in all shapes and sizes. They're normally associated with femininity and sexual drive (hence the term "nymphomaniac"). I wanted Shikamaru to be a completely unexpected magical being. And he'd look pretty scary with antlers.

8) Kisame's brother, the leviathan: Leviathans are giant sea monsters. They are mentioned in the bible and ancient literature. Their exact nature is not specific. Sometimes, a leviathan is a giant whale. I've gone for the more traditional approach. Kisame's bro is a 400-foot serpent.

9) "You should see my sister...Let's just say he went back for round two with old Medusa": We all know who Medusa is. Well, a lot of people _don't _know that she was originally the most beautiful woman in Greece. Every man wanted her, but she had devoted herself to a life as a virgin priestess of Athena. Poseidon felt great lust for her and raped her in the Parthenon. As punishment, Athena turned her into the monstrous gorgon. Which seems kind of illogical to me, but Greek Mythology is rarely logical.

10) The Black Forest: This is based on, not the Forbidden Forest from Harry Potter, or even Mirkwood from The Lord of the Rings, but Black Forest (Schwarzwald) in Germany.

11) The Erlkönig: I'm a huge fan of the dark work of Johann Wolfgang von Gothe, and his poem Der Erlkönig is an amazing piece of literature. I have included some of it in the story. The Erlkönig (literally "The Alder King") is a malevolent creature that is said to carry off travellers to their deaths. One story has it that Goethe was visiting a friend when, late one night, a dark figure carrying a bundle in its arms was seen riding past the gate at great speed. The next day Goethe and his friend were told that they had seen a farmer taking his sick son to the doctor. This incident, along with the legend, is said to have been the main inspiration for the poem. The boy may be simply ill and is hallucinating. The poem leaves the question open.

12) Itachi's glass orb: Inspired by The Labyrinth. If you've seen that film, you'll know what I'm talking about. For those who don't, I'll explain. The king of the goblins, Jared (played by the ever-epic David Bowie) is able to create, seemingly from thin air, small crystal orbs which are used to work magic. He is shown "contact juggling" them throughout the film.

13) Itachi's clock: The thirteen hours is inspired by the clock from The Labyrinth, but the melting clock itself is inspired by the work of one of my favourite artists of all time: Salvador Dali. Go and look at his painting, The Persistence of Memory.

14) The right path: This was supposed to be a play on words. The right path truly is the _right _path. I don't think anybody noticed, though.

**This Chapter:**

1) Algol: Algol is a ghoul, a creature that is said to haunt graveyards at night. In this fic, he doesn't eat human flesh, as is the norm in stories about ghouls. I don't know why I made him blind, though. I was also inspired by Charon, Hades' ferryman, who ferries the dead to the underworld. His name comes from the name of a star in the constellation of Peguses. Algol is known colloquially as the demon star.

2) The door which appears on the wall: I based this off the door to the Mines of Moria (known as Khazad-dûm to the dwarves) from The Lord of The Rings.

3) Draconite: Believe it or not, this is not from my imagination. For hundreds of years, people believed this was true. One source states: "There is cut out of the dragon's brain a stone, but it is not a stone unless it can be taken while the dragon is alive. For if the dragon dies first, the hardness vanishes away with its life". The only change I made was the fact that draconite glows in this fic.

4) Turning upside down: This is based on an obstacle in the Triwizard Maze in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Harry runs into the mist and finds himself upside down. I turned it into a security measure and made it a little more dangerous.

5) The tiny doorway: This is based on both Alice in Wonderland, and The Labyrinth. In Alice in Wonderland (Originally known as Alice's Adventures in Wonderland- because I read the original book, cause I'm cultured like that), the door is tiny, and, in The Labyrinth, the knockers are able to speak. One has a ring in its mouth, so can only grunt, while the other is practically deaf because the ring is through its ears.

6) Res ipsa loquitur: A Latin legal term that means "The thing itself speaks", but is more commonly translated to "The thing speaks for itself".

7) "He could have one huge eye in the middle of his forehead or something!": There is actually a condition known as cyclopia. It is caused by ingestion of toxins during the pregnancy. The baby is then born with one huge eye. If you're not squeamish, look it up on google images. Some babies do survive, but most die. There are cases of animals with this genetic defect aswell.

8) "Constant vigilance": Yes, I will unabashedly admit that Ibiki is my Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody.

9) Kakashi's robes: The main part of the robe is black because it looks good with anything, and because warlocks are incredibly similar to sorcerers. The green symbolises plants and nature, which fits with the fact that Kakashi is a warlock, and makes potions, oftentimes out of plants. (On a side note, it also symbolised rebirth in Ancient Egypt, which is why Osiris is always green in paintings).

10) _μ__I_: _μ_is the first letter of the Greek word μάγισσα (magissa). It means witch or warlock. Incidentally, this is where we get the English word "magic" from. The "I" is the Roman numeral for 1, and signifies that Kakashi is of the highest order of warlocks. The lowest ranking is "V" (5).

11) Tsunade, daughter of Zeus: It's fitting. I wouldn't want to suffer either of their wraths.

12) _Zeta:_The first letter of Zeus' name.

13) Poltergeist: This comes from the German poltern, meaning "to rumble", "to make a noise" and Geist, meaning "ghost" or "spirit. These are ghosts that make their presence known by making noises and moving objects at their most benign, and causing injuries, such as scratches, cuts, bruises and even burns at their most malevolent.

14) Itachi's robe: Again, the black is a uniform colour that means nothing. Purple is a symbol of nobility, pride and magic. You can see his upper arm bracelet here: http: / / 1 . bp . blogspot . com / _ C57jgmWHlFE / SC3HFNUBMuI / AAAAAAAAAUg / fv8zh2x74U4 / s320 / crow % 2Bbracelet%2Bfinished _ 1 . jpg It's not just for decoration.

15) _Ἑκάτη__I_: This is the Greek spelling of Hecate (Pronounced Hec-UH-tuh), the Greek Goddess of Sorcery. The word for witch/warlock is the same word used for sorcerer, and I wanted to distinguish sorcerers from witches/warlocks and vice versa. The "I", again, states that Itachi is of the most powerful order of sorcerer.

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Again, I implore you to review. It's nice that you add my to your fav stories lists and such, but reviews are more tangible. See the appendices? That's how much effort I have gone to. Please review. I won't withhold my fic if you don't, but I'd like to see some.


	4. Chapter 3

_**A side note about chapter 1: **__A reader has pointed out that the Jabberwocky is actually called a Jabberwock in the poem. I was aware of this, but I think that Jabberwocky sounds better, so that's what it's called in my fic._

_**A second side note about chapter 1: **__I though that, before anybody pointed it out, I should explain why both Itachi and Madara were tested. Put simply, Itachi and Madara were generations apart, and the monitoring of prospective students who are related to past Rouen students is a relatively new thing._

_**A side note about chapter 3:**__ I was originally going to make Tsunade the daughter of Dionysus, God of wine and drunkenness. But I figured that was kind of predictable, not to mention somehow cheap, so she's the daughter of Zeus._

_**One final note:**__ I am British. Very British. I have an English accent. I am applying for Cambridge University in September. I walk on a path, my rubbish goes in the bin, I turn on the tap to fill my bath, my fries are chips and my chips are crisps. I think you all get the point. So I'm going to refrain from using Americanisms, and I'll be using good-old Brit speak, save for a few incidents, because Naruto would not use the word "arse". Fair warning._

_**Very little happens in this chapter. There is a little more interaction between Naruto and Sasuke, and some more characters are introduced, aswell as a very interesting, unexpected love triangle. Itachi will test Naruto some more, and we'll find out some interesting things about Sasuke. To be honest, I'm disappointed with the way this chapter turned out. **_

Chapter 3:

For their first night at Rouen, they had slept on the floor in sleeping bags in the corridor. This was tradition, Kisame told them. Naruto had worried that he would be stood on by somebody going past in the night, but still fell asleep almost immediately. The next day, they were awoken at sunrise. With much groaning and grumbling (until they saw Tsunade's positively ghoulish expression, that is), they had forced themselves to their feet and were directed to something Tsunade had called the _inberg_. This turned out to be a colossal hall, hundreds of feet high and just as long. There was one giant table stretching the length of the entire room. None of the older students were there, but the table was groaning under the weight of mountains of food. There was eggs- poached, boiled, scrambled and fried-, bacon, sausage, pancakes, crepes, cereal, toast, five different types of jam, bowls filled with beans, plum, diced and fresh tomatoes, brown and red sauce, jugs overflowing with cranberry, orange and tomato juice, pots of coffee, tea and milk...

Naruto salivated and quickly sat down. He was about to dig in when Kisame shoved his face into the table.

"What the hell was that for?" Naruto bellowed, waving his arms like a windmill as Kisame's hand kept his face pressed against the table.

"You have to remain standing until Tsunade sits down," Kisame told him lowly as he released him, "It's tradition,"

"Tradition sucks ass," Naruto grumbled, rubbing his protesting stomach. Tsunade soon entered from the back of the room and sat at the head of the table. The rest of the teachers appeared to take that as some sort of a signal, and materialised. Naruto was then able to get a true look at all of them.

Tsunade was quite pretty, with cunning amber eyes and blond hair. A wrinkled woman with her hair in a grey bun toddled in shortly after Tsunade, and Naruto wondered how she was teaching at such a school. But he knew she was more than she appeared.

She was followed by a feminine figure, with thick blond hair and sly blue eyes, who sauntered in as though he owned the place, his gold and grey alchemist's robes flapping behind him. The letter _alpha _was on his collar, along with the roman numeral "_I_". Naruto could only tell he was male because he was lacking certain feminine body parts. They watched, awe- and horror-struck, as he waved at them with a smirk, a tongue lolling out of the mouth on his hand. Strangely, the guy's gaze lingered on Kisame, who seemed to ignore him. Something ugly passed over the alchemist's face before he sat down on Tsunade's left.

The next to enter was a beautiful red-eyed woman, who wore no robes, preferring, it seemed, to don a simple white dress. Kiba's eyes were fixated on her as she crossed the room and sat near the old lady.

"Hey, dog guy," Naruto sniggered, barely dodging a punch, "Gonna howl and stomp your foot like in those cartoons?"

Kiba ignored him, and Naruto turned his attention back to the teachers. Next came a huge man, who wasn't much smaller than Kisame and had a thick beard. He sat down next to the red eyed woman, who kissed him on the cheek.

"Tough luck," Naruto said, clapping Kiba on the shoulder.

"She's a teacher anyway," Kiba sulked, "I wonder who that is?"

Naruto looked at the mousy-haired woman who carried a pig with wings as she entered the room and stood at Tsunade's side. Like the red-eyed woman, and the old lady, she wore no robes. Instead, she was wearing what looked like a black blazer, a knee-length, grey pleated skirt, and a crisp white blouse with a black tie. The blazer, skirt and tie all had the school's crest on them. She also wore knee socks, and sensible shoes.

"It's that Shizune lady. She must be a student," Naruto deduced, "She's probably in her last year,"

But Kiba wasn't listening.

"Oi Naruto," he called with a grin, "Your favourite teacher just walked in,"

Naruto narrowed his eyes at Itachi Uchiha as the man entered the room with the grace of a sleek feline. He was wearing almost the same as yesterday, but his hair was free from its ribbon and spilled down his back like ink. Naruto glared harder as a few girls sighed dreamily.

"That's my cue, ladies," Kisame said with his trademark grin, shoving Naruto good-naturedly on the way past. Naruto nearly lost a tooth on the edge of the table.

"I wish he'd stop doing that!" he told Kiba as Kisame stopped to talk with Itachi, "He'll kill me one day!"

"Hell of a height difference, doncha think?" Kiba said irrelevantly as he watched Kisame and Itachi converse. It was true; Itachi had to tilt his head back to look at Kisame's face.

"So he's short," Naruto muttered, "Big deal,"

"How can you call anyone short?" Sasuke interrupted, sipping a glass of tomato juice.

"I didn't ask you, bastard!" Naruto said, "How can you drink that shit? And why are you eating anyway? Kisame said we're not allowed to!"

"Tsunade's sitting down, isn't she?" Sasuke returned, leaving Naruto stumped, "Maybe if you try some, you'll be less of a midget,"

"We're the same height!" Naruto yelled.

"Stop yelling at my Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shrieked, punching him in the face.

"_Your _Sasuke-kun?" Ino interjected ferociously, steam almost coming out of her ears. There were mutters of agreement from the other girls, and soon Ino and Sakura were once again at each other's throats. Naruto ignored them and glowered at Sasuke, who smirked and raised his glass in a mocking tribute as Naruto began to pile up his plate with food.

Determined not to let Sasuke get to him again, Naruto cast his gaze around the room for something more interesting to look at and found it in Kisame and Itachi. Or, more specifically, in the way that the blond teacher with the freaky mouth on his hand looked ready to slaughter the pair of them. But they were just _talking_. In fact, they had yet to sit down or come even close to the blond guy. And Naruto had the feeling that the alchemist was directing his hatred towards Itachi only, as he'd seemed to like Kisame well enough earlier.

Now, Naruto was not a stupid boy. He was a little "obtuse", as Itachi had phrased it, but he was intelligent enough to get into Rouen. So, when Itachi put his elegant hand onto Kisame's colossal forearm for a moment, and the alchemist seethed, his teeth gritted in rage, Naruto saw exactly what was going on.

"That blond guy wants to get into Kisame's pants," he informed his friends bluntly. Immediately, Sakura choked on her low-fat cereal, Kiba fell on the floor and rolled around in hysterical laughter, and Shikamaru rolled his eyes, muttering his signature "Troublesome".

"He's right!" Sakura hissed, her voice a little hoarse and specs of cereal littering her tank top.

"He's got no chance," Sasuke interjected with a smirk, "Not against Itachi,"

Everybody turned to him, wide eyes inviting him to explain more.

"Itachi doesn't go after what he knows he can't get," Sasuke explained shortly, "Plus, he's never gone after anyone before, so he won't let Kisame get away so easily,"

"Wait...Professor Uchiha likes Kisame too?" Sakura exclaimed, thankfully remembering to keep her voice down. Sasuke sent her a look that said "_Duh_".

"The guy's not even good-looking," Kiba felt the need to point out, "Why would Professor Uchiha, and that freaky blond dude- who's hot for a guy, mouth-hands aside- want to date a fish guy?"

"It's not all about looks, you know," Ino said with a dirty look.

"Then why are you so obsessed with Sasuke?" Kiba asked. Ino blushed and shot Sasuke a hopeful look, and was ignored in favour of a thick book that Sasuke had pulled from nowhere.

_Maybe that's what's up his ass_, Naruto thought to himself as Ino beat Kiba about the head with an empty milk jug.

"Itachi must have weird tastes," Sasuke said dryly, "Now stop talking,"

Naruto stuck his tongue out, and promptly bit it painfully when Sakura whacked him with her empty bowl.

After breakfast, which was the first thing Naruto could say he enjoyed about Rouen, Tsunade stood and explained the rules, which consisted of basic things, like "No relationships between students and teachers will be tolerated" (which led to the girls looking disturbingly down-hearted), and some more peculiar rules, such as "Nobody is to visit the south side of the lake" (for reasons that Tsunade didn't bother to explain).

And then they were ushered into the next room, which thankfully had no traps or bottomless pits, while the teachers discussed something important that the students were not supposed to hear, despite the fact that it was probably a discussion about the students. Kiba had attempted to listen in with his keen ears, but was apparently unable to hear anything more than a faint buzzing.

"Dammit," Kiba muttered, "I can't hear a fucking thing!"

"Moron," Sasuke snorted, leaning against a wall. The girls all swooned.

"There's obviously a charm on the door," Sasuke continued, "Probably Kakashi's doing,"

He walked over to them and pressed his palm against the door. He frowned in concentration and muttered something under his breath. Immediately, a membrane which hadn't been visible to the naked eye appeared, glowing like red flames. Sasuke seized the corner and tore it off like it was the film lid from a microwave dinner.

"Now try it," he said, ignoring the boys' slack jaws and the girls' swooning, vacant looks.

"Wow, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura demurred, blushing prettily, "That was amazing,"

"Hn," Sasuke responded. Sakura looked crestfallen, and Ino looked triumphant.

"I can hear, I can hear!" Kiba hissed excitedly, "Wait, they've decided who our mentors are,"

"Oh great," Sakura said, "What's the betting I get stuck with that creepy Kakashi, or Kisame?"

"I like Kisame," Naruto said, "He's cool. He pisses me off sometimes, but I want to get as muscle-y as him, and he'd be able to teach me how, right?"

"Muscles wouldn't help against a sorcerer or warlock, idiot," Sasuke butted in. Naruto whirled on in him with an infuriated growl.

"Shut up!" he said, "You're just jealous that you'll always be a prissy, skinny pretty boy!"

"And you'll always be an annoying little loser," Sasuke countered.

"Itachi said they're not necessarily bad points," Naruto responded, his voice beginning to rise.

"That's Professor Uchiha," Sasuke snapped, "Have some respect for your betters!"

"Why should I respect the guy who put me through that trial?" Naruto squawked indignantly.

"You passed, didn't you?" Sasuke said, "So quit whining,"

"Yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that he fucked with my mind like that!"

"Maybe now you'll understand the power an expert has over you. You wouldn't have been able to overcome that if you had a few superficial muscles!"

"You little-!"

"Says the guy who's shorter than me?"

"We're the same height, you bastard!"

"Shut up, guys!" Kiba growled in time to stop Sasuke from responding, "They announced our mentors while you two were fighting like a pair of kids!"

"Who are you calling a kid?" Naruto growled.

"Geez, Naruto, are you going to pick a fight with everyone today?" Shikamaru asked boredly. Naruto stopped and sighed, deflating.

"Well, spill then," he said with a grin back in place, "Who got who?"

"Sorry Naruto, but Kisame's _my _mentor," Kiba smirked.

"What? No fair!" Naruto whined.

"Sorry," Kiba repeated, "Sakura's got Tsunade-,"

"I've got _who_?" Sakura gasped, looking awed and excited, "Tsunade of the Sannin is one of the best-,"

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto said, waving a hand. Sakura responded by punching him in the face.

"Go on," Shikamaru said, leaning against the wall as Naruto tenderly rubbed his sore head.

"You got some guy named Asuma," Kiba said, "He's some tactician guy. They heard about your brains and decided it was a logical choice,"

Shikamaru nodded, but seemed dismayed that he would have to actually work.

"Some guy named Chouji got that Shizune chick that seems to always have alcohol on hand," Kiba said, "Now _I'm _jealous! And Ino has some dude named Deidara, who sounds fem, because Kisame said something about them looking the same,"

"If he has hair like me, he's bound to be great," Ino stated smugly.

"Let's hope he's not as vain as you too," Shikamaru muttered. Luckily for him, she didn't hear it.

"Some dude named Neji-,"

"That's me," the pale eyed boy said. He had been leaning in a shadowy alcove, and stepped into the light.

"Yeah, you got Ibiki. They seem to think you've got the capacity for sadism and interrogation, like Ibiki. I don't know where they got that idea," Kiba finished sarcastically, "Oh, and you love little animals,"

The boy's face turned crimson at this.

"How about it?" Shikamaru butted in, "Wanna pet my antlers?"

"No, I would prefer to shove them up your-!"

"_Anyway_," Kiba said loudly, attempting to avert a crisis, "That cute Hinata girl-,"

An angry growl from Neji, whose eyes radiated killer intent.

"Erm...a lovely pure young lady who I would never sully with my unworthiness whose name is Hinata-,"

"That's better,"

"-has Kurenai. I think she's the hot one with the red eyes," Kiba finished meekly.

"Who else?" Naruto said.

"Let's see," Kiba said slowly, "Gaara has some old biddy named Chiyo who seems kind of scary. Who's Gaara?"

"Me," said a boy with crimson hair and a gravely voice. Kiba cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Fitting then," he said, "Sasuke, you have Kakashi-perv-,"

"What!" Sasuke burst out savagely, seizing Kiba by the shoulders, "No, that can't be right! I was supposed to have Itachi!"

"Looks like Itachi didn't get the memo," Kiba choked out Sasuke shook him.

"He got the fucking memo!" Sasuke growled. Naruto was disturbed by the lustful looks on the girls' faces. Was violence sexy now?

"I told him myself," Sasuke snarled.

"Well, maybe he didn't want to mentor your stuck-up ass!" Naruto said gleefully, sticking his tongue out.

"It doesn't matter whether he wanted to or not!" Sasuke declared, rounding on Naruto like a crazed dog let off its lead, "Dad's going to kill him!"

There was a ringing silence as everybody digested the implications of that sentence.

"Is he-?"

"He's my older brother," Sasuke stated stiffly. He looked angry. Apparently, he hadn't meant to reveal that to everyone, "Don't tell me none of you idiots realised as soon as you saw us,"

"I thought you _were _Itachi," Naruto admitted with reddened cheeks, "You have the same eyes. And then I thought you were his twin or something,"

"Dad's going to kill him," Sasuke repeated in a more controlled voice.

"Er...why?" Naruto asked, taking a step back to remain out of grabbing distance.

"It's none of your business," Sasuke said harshly, leaning against the wall again and watching the door like a hawk. He was obviously waiting for Itachi to come out of that room so that he could demand an explanation.

"Geez, what crawled up your ass?" Naruto muttered, "So, who's my mentor, Kiba?"

Kiba smirked. Naruto's eyes nearly fell out of his head. Sasuke's face became thunderous.

"No!" Naruto said, falling to his knees and grabbing the adlet around the knees, "Tell me you're joking Kiba!"

"Nope," Kiba sniggered, "Your mentor is-,"

The door flew open violently, hitting the stone wall with an almighty crack that shook the room. Naruto leapt up with a squeak. Tsunade stood in the doorframe, her tall silhouette so frightening that Naruto, in a fit of cowardice, hid behind Sasuke, who shoved him away with a look of disgust.

"Time to announce the mentors!" Tsunade sang, her cheeks ruddy. She had plainly consumed a large amount of alcohol already.

"There is no need, Tsunade-sama," Itachi said stepping out of the room gracefully, "They know,"

"Eh?" Tsunade said, with a disappointed pout, "But I didn't even get to see them get pissed off!"

"I put a privacy charm on that door, Itachi," Kakashi said curiously, running a hand over it.

"Sasuke removed it," Itachi said, leading the students to believe that he was psychic.

"How do you know it was me?" Sasuke said, refusing to look at his brother.

"I taught you how to remove that particular charm only a few months ago. I highly doubt that these other students are capable of such an act,"

"And why's that?" Naruto barked, slighted. He, too, didn't want to look at Itachi, but not because he was annoyed at him. He _was _annoyed, but he was more afraid than anything. Itachi's eyes seemed to be dangerously hypnotic when he wanted them to be. And the very fact that Naruto was afraid made him _more _afraid.

"Do you think it is so easy to remove a charm that Kakashi Hatake put in place?" Itachi asked rhetorically. Naruto glanced up as high as Itachi's mouth and caught sight of a small smirk that told Naruto that Itachi found their fear entertaining.

"Well, no...," Naruto said uncomfortably.

"You would need excellent training from a master who knew Kakashi well enough to know how to break his charms, wouldn't you?"

"Er...yeah," Naruto said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head as he realised his mistake. Itachi hadn't been suggesting that his brother was superior to the other students. He was just being realistic.

"I'm glad that you understand, Naruto-kun," Itachi said in a more gentle tone. Beside Naruto, Sasuke silently fumed. The remaining teachers left, save Kisame. Kakashi somehow managed to walk down the corridor whilst reading that book, without walking into a wall.

"We'll talk later, otouto," Itachi said to Sasuke, with a small, affectionate smile. Sasuke failed to respond. Itachi swept away, pausing only to ruffle Sasuke's hair with an even wider smile. Sasuke grumbled quietly.

"Oh, and Naruto-kun?"

"Y-Yes?" Naruto peeped nervously.

"Be here at 6pm tonight," Itachi said smoothly. Naruto gaped at his back as he seemed to glide into a wall.

"W-What?" he bellowed as soon as he had recovered the ability to speak, "I've had about 4 hours of sleep, and I want to go to bed! Is he crazy?"

"Probably," Kisame said, "But that's one of his charms,"

Shikamaru shook his head with a sigh, while Naruto gaped like a dead fish at Kisame.

"Come on brats," Kisame said, hoisting his sword onto his shoulder as he walked off without waiting for them. Naruto noticed that he seemed to do that a lot.

"Where are we going?" Naruto called to his back.

"To your dorms," Kisame said shortly, "Now hurry up before I leave you all behind,"

"Alright, alright!" Naruto grumbled, "Sheesh!"

The majority of the group jogged to catch up as Kisame waited impatiently near seven enormous tapestries depicting a unicorn hunt. Sasuke, however, stood where he was.

"Are you coming, bastard?" Naruto called. Sasuke ignored him, pressing his palms together and murmuring something. For a moment, Naruto wondered whether there had been a spontaneous heat wave, because Sasuke seemed to be shimmering like air above hot tarmac on a Summer's day. Then, Sasuke was at Kisame's side, and Naruto realised that Sasuke had performed magic once again.

"Did Itachi teach you that little trick?" Kisame asked, sharp teeth bared in a grin. Everybody else made noises of amazement and gaped like idiots. Naruto scowled in Sasuke's direction. What an attention-seeking bastard.

"Of course," Sasuke said shortly, "Are we going to our dorms, or are we just going to stand here all day?"

"I suppose we could stay here," Kisame shrugged his massive shoulders, "I haven't got any place to be,"

At Sasuke's glare, he relented with a grin.

"Have it your way, Mini-'Tachi," he said. He had taken all of three steps when a horrified voice spoke from behind him.

"What did you just call me?" Sasuke asked in a low dangerous tone, "No, actually, just shut your stupid mouth,"

"But it fits you so well, kid," Kisame objected with a grin, "You look like him, you...well, you don't act like him, but you both know how to give the evil eye,"

"Itachi doesn't glare," Sasuke sneered, "He's the _nice _brother,"

"To _you_," Kisame pointed out, "You're his little brother. He thinks the sun shines out of your smug little ass. He can be a real sadist to the rest of us,"

Sasuke didn't dignify that with a response. Naruto, however...

"I _knew _he was evil all along!" he declared. Everybody ignored him.

The rooms they were to stay in turned out to be surprisingly modernised and comfortable-looking. The walls were circular, leaving Naruto to believe that they were in a tower of some sort. Through the single window, he could see the distant glitter of the lake, and the black forest. It was barely light, and Naruto could tell that it was incredible early. He was suddenly exhausted. He then wondered when and how they had walked into a tower, but decided that it was too much for his brain to handle.

The beds were, bizarrely, curved to fit the walls, as was the other furniture, although the sides not facing the walls were straight. Naruto nearly went cross-eyed looking at the room. The window was between the two beds, and there was shaft of light slicing through the shadows of the dark room to leave a perfect arch shape on the floor. There were a pair of computer desks- with two laptops sitting on top of them- pushed together near the foot of the bed on the left. On the other side of the room, there was a walk-in closet that Naruto assumed he would have to share with his room mate.

"So who's my room mate?" Naruto asked, stifling a yawn. He really wanted to sink into one of those plump mattresses and pull the thick downy covers over himself, allowing sleep to take him.

"Mini-'Tachi, you're rooming with Demon kid," Kisame said, gently pushing Naruto into the room- only _his _gentle was sufficient force to send Naruto sprawling on the thickly-carpeted floor.

_Bastard_, Naruto thought darkly as he tried to erase the taste of carpet from his tongue.

Sasuke didn't offer to help him up. Naruto glowered at his back as he opened the closet door and picked out some clothes. He then went into the bathroom, and Naruto heard the sound of running water. He decided to take a shower later. He'd have plenty of time; he had no intention of meeting Itachi at 6pm. Was the guy trying to kill him or something?

He stripped quickly and immodestly, before throwing his dirty clothes on the floor and putting on a pair of pyjamas. In no time, he was snuggling into his nice warm bed and letting out a sigh of pleasure.

The pleasure didn't last long. The room was flooded with light, and something landed on his head. Shrieking, he wrestled with it for a moment, until he realised that it was his dirty clothes.

"Clothes go in the hamper, idiot," Sasuke said. Naruto could smell his body wash from the other side of the room.

"Shut up, bastard," he grumbled, hugging his pillow over his head, "I'll do it tomorrow,"

"No, you'll do it now," Sasuke shot back, "Or the light stays on,"

"What the hell, bastard?" Naruto squawked, "It's early!"

"And you have to see Itachi at 6pm," Sasuke said smugly, "So I suggest you get moving,"

"'M not going," Naruto said.

"He'll come to get you. You can't hide from him,"

"What, is he psychic now?"

"He's the greatest sorcerer alive, you moron. I doubt _I_ could hide from him,"

"Yeah, cause you're _cool _and _amazing_, and, if you can't escape, nobody can, right?" Naruto felt the need to point out sarcastically.

"I didn't say I was better than everyone," Sasuke said, seeing the actual meaning behind Naruto's words, "Just you,"

Naruto tore his quilt from his body and leapt to his feet.

"Fuck you!" he shouted, "I'll be a kage at the end of the year! Just wait!"

"I'll wait till I'm old," Sasuke smirked, "And you'll still just be an annoying little loser,"

"What the hell?" Naruto spat, "You don't even know me!"

"And I don't _want _to know you, either,"

"You're just pissed Itachi's mentoring me, instead of you," Naruto said triumphantly. Instantly, Naruto knew he'd hit a sore spot. Sasuke's eyes flashed red in the same way that Itachi's did and he turned on Naruto with hatred in his gaze.

"I don't know why he's lowered himself to mentoring somebody like _you_," Sasuke said, as though Naruto was something nasty a parent would tell their child not to play with, "He probably thinks you're so pathetic that you'll need extra help,"

Sasuke was smirking now, and it was Naruto's turn to get annoyed.

"Or maybe he thinks I actually have potential!" Naruto bellowed back, "Have you thought about that, bastard?"

"Hn," Sasuke responded with a smirk, "I'm going to bed,"

With that, he climbed into his bed and pulled the covers over the draconite lanterns and shut the curtains with magic. Naruto glared at his back in the dim light. Sasuke had definitely done that to show off, in an effort to prove his superiority. Naruto dumped the clothes in the basket.

"Yeah, well," he muttered futilely as the gentle sound of Sasuke's even breathing filled the room, "Your pyjamas suck,"

"So does your face," Sasuke drowsily returned. He managed to sound smug and arrogant even when half asleep. Naruto contented himself with sticking his tongue out at Sasuke's back, and flipping him the bird.

Despite his anger at Sasuke, he was so tired that he slipped into a dreamless sleep immediately, and was awoken by hushed voices. Cracking one eye open slightly allowed him to make out the blurry outlines of two dark-haired figures sitting on Sasuke's bed.

"You said you'd explain later," Sasuke's voice said, sounding pissed, "It's later now, so talk,"

So one of the figures was Sasuke? Then the other must be...

"Sasuke, I haven't the time at the moment," Itachi responded softly, "I came to get Naruto-kun,"

"So some stupid blond kid is more important to you than your own brother now?" Sasuke snarled. He sounded almost...hurt? Naruto suddenly felt a little guilty, although he didn't think he should. Afterall, he hadn't chosen to be mentored by Itachi, and Sasuke was a horrible bastard anyway.

"Sasuke-," Itachi began after a lengthly silence.

"No, it's fine," Sasuke said, "Whatever. Just...just get Naruto and go, alright?"

Naruto heard the rustling sound of Sasuke's duvet that told him Sasuke was getting under the duvet and was facing the wall.

"Otouto," Itachi murmured tenderly. Sasuke ignored him.

"You know as well I as I that a sorcerer is the last thing you want to be," Itachi continued, "That is why I convinced Kakashi-san to be your mentor. I know of your love of potions and witchcraft, and I know that father looks down upon witchcraft as inferior to sorcery,"

He paused momentarily. Naruto could sense that Sasuke was listening intently.

"Father is an idiot," Itachi stated scornfully, "Did he tell you that he is a warlock himself, because he was never able to master the control required to become a sorcerer? He is too proud. You have the potential to become either. You have a choice,"

"I have no choice," Sasuke said darkly at length. Naruto held his breath.

"You do," Itachi said, "You could be weak like me, and submit to father's every whim. Or you could be the strong one, the one who does what _he _wants, rather than what father wants. I saw the error of my ways too late. My desperation for father's affections led to this. I am the greatest sorcerer alive, they say. I can summon Hades, if the propaganda is to be believed. Yet I do not enjoy my work. I wish I had chosen differently,"

"Father would never forgive me," Sasuke stated bitterly.

"He would," Itachi said sharply, "And if he did not, I would not forgive _him_, and nor would mother. You are, afterall, her favourite,"

"And you're father's," Sasuke said sourly.

"Father favours the idea of me," Itachi explained, "He doesn't care for me,"

"And he'll kill you when he finds out," Sasuke pointed out.

"I doubt he could accomplish such a feat," Itachi declared with no small amount of superiority colouring his tone. It was only then that Naruto could truly see the real similarities between the brothers. However, there was something false about Itachi's unspoken claim of eminence, as though he was saying those words to give Sasuke confidence, rather than out of any real feeling of supremacy.

"Probably not," Sasuke admitted reluctantly, "But he could still make life difficult,"

"I have not cared for his opinions since I was 13 years old," Itachi said, unconcerned, "By which time, I was already an accomplished sorcerer, and it was much too late for me to change my vocation,"

"13? Was that because-?"

"Yes, but I would rather not speak of it," Itachi interrupted in a warning tone, "You now know my reasoning, Sasuke. Will you allow Kakashi-san to be your mentor?"

"I suppose," Sasuke said reluctantly, after a pause.

"Then I must advise you to bring a book to every mentoring session," Itachi instructed, "Kakashi-san is an excellent warlock, but a poor time-keeper. He will be late to every session,"

"Every session?" Sasuke muttered, "Great, I get stuck with a tardy idiot, while that moron over there, who, by the way, drools and snores, will be mentored by you,"

"I do not!" Naruto bellowed, forgetting that he wasn't supposed to be listening. At Sasuke's creepy expression, he gulped.

"I did wonder when you were going to stop pretending, Naruto-kun," Itachi said, rising from Sasuke's bed, "It is 5:53am. You have 7 minutes to ready yourself for mentoring. I will wait outside,"

With a single glance in Naruto's direction, and an amused smile tugging his lips as Naruto again tried to avoid looking into his eyes, Itachi left through the door- without opening it.

"Show-off," Sasuke muttered resentfully, turning over and pulling his covers up his body, "Have fun, idiot,"

"I will!" Naruto declared.

"I was being sarcastic," Sasuke said, "He'll probably drive you like a slave and mess with your mind some more,"

Sasuke sounded almost too happy at the prospect of Naruto's suffering at Itachi's hands.

With the air of somebody about to confront their greatest fear, Naruto went into his wardrobe and pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. There were several school uniforms hanging on his side of the wardrobe that hadn't been there before, and they were pressed and smelled new. Naruto fingered the black blazer with disgust and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"You're late already," Itachi said from within the mirror. Half-swallowing his toothbrush due to shock, Naruto hacked and choked until he'd sprayed the mirror with toothpaste. By the time he had recovered, Itachi was gone, and Naruto was looking at a very dirty mirror. Sasuke would call him an idiot for certain, and would probably order him to clean it, prissy bastard that he was.

Naruto came out of the bathroom, cursing colourfully and red-faced, to face Sasuke's smirk. He ignored the dark haired bastard and yanked open the door. Itachi stood on the other side, looking unimpressed.

"Come along, Naruto-kun," Itachi said, "I have a prior engagement that I will need to attend to sometime today,"

"Meeting up with your _boyfriend_?" Naruto said resentfully, and promptly winced. Oh, he was dead, wasn't he?

"How did you guess?" Itachi asked. Naruto was sure he swallowed a fly as his jaw hung loosely.

"Are you serious?" he asked.

"No," Itachi said, a tad too brightly.

"...Right,"

Itachi didn't bother warning him prior to sweeping off down the corridor.

"Hey!" Naruto said, "Wait for me!"

Itachi, surprisingly, paused long enough for Naruto to catch up. He led him down some spiral stairs that tilted crazily towards the centre of the helix (giving the unsettling feeling that Naruto was about to fall, despite the rail), and into a doorless room that was entirely bare. There wasn't even a blackboard or a chair. Naruto watched, bemused, as Itachi sat down, crossed his legs, and said nothing.

"Er...," Naruto began, but a look from Itachi shut him up. Taking the hint, he slid down opposite Itachi and copied his position. He had thought Itachi would begin their lesson then, but he was mistaken. Itachi didn't so much as look at him.

"What are we doing here?" Naruto asked quietly. Once again, Itachi didn't so much as acknowledge that he'd spoken.

"Helloooooo?" Naruto called loudly, his voice echoing throughout the stone box Itachi had trapped him in. There was no response- not that he'd expected one.

"Seriously, are you deaf or something?" he grumbled loudly. At Itachi's continued silence, Naruto stood up and kicked a wall harshly. He would have kicked Itachi, but he was afraid of losing fingers for real this time, so he contented himself with abusing the wall. They only result was a sore toe and more silence from Itachi. So Naruto slumped down on the floor and fumed silently.

Eventually, his mind began to wander, and his anger gave way to grudging acceptance. Itachi was not going to pay any attention to him for this lesson, and nothing Naruto did was going to change that. He thought about dinner that night, about his friends and the classes he would be starting soon, and about the bizarre love triangle he'd witnessed that morning. He purposely steered clear of thoughts about Sasuke, because he knew that he would only be tempted to kick the wall some more, imagining it to be Sasuke's face, and he didn't really need to make his toe throb anymore than it already was.

Eventually, after an hour of absolute silence, Itachi rose to his feet.

"Excellent, Naruto-kun," he said.

"We didn't do anything! _I _didn't do anything!" Naruto complained, also rising to his feet. He winced at the stiffness of his muscles and the numb feeling in his ass.

"Certainly," Itachi conceded with a gleam in his eye. Naruto realised he was looking into Itachi's eyes again, and quickly looked down. There was no telling whether Itachi was a mind-reader. Naruto wouldn't have put it past him.

"Certainly," Itachi repeated, "And therein lies your accomplishment,"

Naruto thought about that confusing sentence until his eyes crossed and his face screwed up, but he still couldn't figure out the point Itachi was trying to make by forcing Naruto to accompany him in absolute silence in an empty, cold room for an hour.

"Dinner will begin in half an hour," Itachi informed him, "You may want to return to your room until then,"

"Can't I explore the school?" Naruto asked.

"Not unless you want to get lost," Itachi said with a brief quirk of his lips.

"I'll go back to my room then," Naruto sighed, "Finding my classes on Monday is going to be hell. Sasuke-bastard probably already has the layout memorised,"

Naruto grimaced, his bottom lip jutting out childishly.

"You'll be getting a map," Itachi informed him, watching Naruto with his strange eyes, which seemed to flicker between red and black.

Naruto left the room filled with confusion and anger. He couldn't believe that Itachi had made him sit there like an idiot for half an hour, doing nothing. Was it another test? It had to be. Itachi was the most intelligent person that Naruto had met so far, so it was doubtful that he had done such a thing for no reason. Plus, he seemed like the kind of guy who didn't waste time and energy with pointless frivolities.

So, a test then. But what was he testing? Naruto yanked at his thick blond hair in frustration.

"What are you so pissed off about?" Sasuke asked idly, as Naruto stalked in and threw himself down on the bed with unconcealed ire.

"Itachi!" Naruto growled, sitting up.

"Professor Uchiha," Sasuke corrected him. Naruto had the urge to beat Sasuke with a blunt object.

"Whatever," Naruto growled, "He's fucking with my head again! I just know it! He stuck me in a room and wouldn't even look at me for an hour! I mean, what the fuck? I hate his stupid tests!"

Naruto finished with a scream of rage. Sasuke blinked at him. Then, a smirk crossed his face.

"You haven't figured it out yet?" he asked, with that annoyingly superior look.

"If I had, do you think I'd be so pissed off at the asshole?" Naruto retorted, "Come on, what's his game?"

Sasuke deliberately closed the book he was reading and put it down on his bed.

"I'm sorry, but I can't help you," he said, sounding far from apologetic, "You'll have to figure it out for yourself,"

He left the room and closed the door. A second later, he heard the solid thump of his book colliding with the door. He hadn't had this much fun in years.

* * *

Appendices

1) The Inberg: This is the Old English word for "hall". Old English will be cropping up frequently in later chapters, as I have decided that it will be the language of sorcerers. Old English is one of those languages that seems very secretive, and I think it sounds very powerful and magical when spoken.

2) Deidara's robes: Yes, this is obviously Deidara, so I can use his name. It's not a spoiler. His robes are grey and gold because of his subject. He's an alchemist, a person who tries to turn worthless metals, such as lead, into gold. Lead is grey, while gold is...well, gold. So his robes symbolise the transition between the worthless lead and the precious gold. In this fic, alchemy is a very real science. I thought Deidara would love to play with strange chemicals, which often have violent, explosive reactions.

3) _Alpha _and _I_: The Greek word for Alchemist is αλχημιστής (alchimisis). The first letter of this word is _alpha_. As for the _I_...you all know the drill by now.

4) "...Kisame waited impatiently near seven enormous tapestries depicting a unicorn hunt": These tapestries are very real. _The Hunt of the Unicorn_, often referred to as the _Unicorn Tapestries_, is a series of seven tapestries dating from 1495–1505. Very little is known about their origins, but they are believed to have been commissioned by Anne of Brittany to celebrate her marriage to Charles VIII of France. The tapestries, as the name suggests, depict noblemen on a unicorn hunt.

_As I have said, very little happened in this chapter, so you can consider it a filler chapter. I hope you all like it a little._


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 5:

_The Jabberwocky really was a hideous creature, he mused as he watched the great beast fish in the shallows. It lowered its stretched-corkscrew neck and buried its ugly face beneath the water. Perhaps it didn't need to catch the fish with its great buck teeth, and simply scared them to death by regarding them with his buggish eyes. Its open maw- with its bristly tongue- and its fringed face were capable of scaring even the most brave of men. When you added its sheer size into the equation, things really did become worrisome. Its body was thick, lumpy and grey like an elephant's- but no elephant had a body that was the size of a steam engine, or a head the size of a rowing boat. Even he, a great warlock though he was, wondered momentarily if this was the best idea. But his boss had ordered this, and he didn't like to displease his boss._

_The barrier was an expert one, although it wasn't as powerful as those teachers at that pathetic school could have made it. This he admitted grudgingly, as he was aware that they were powerful, but he still resented their dismissal of him twenty years ago._

_He wondered, briefly, why they hadn't just slaughtered the ugly thing. It was indeed not to be taken lightly, but they were more than capable of destroying it and removing the danger it posed. That blue brute Kisame could have easily ripped its head off with body strength alone, the neanderthal. But the teachers liked to think of themselves as __**humane **__(he chuckled at that- none were even remotely human), and didn't like to harm others. Really, you would have thought it was still 1965, with all of the peace and love they were spouting._

_It was a mistake they would live to regret._

_It nevertheless took more than an hour to remove the barrier that kept the Jabberwocky penned into this corner of the lake. He knew he had accomplished the first stage of his mission when he felt the tingle of powerful magic skitter over his skin. He breathed in deeply, like a man in a forest after a rainstorm. He did so love power._

_And now for the second stage, he thought as he checked the wind direction. He was downwind of the creature. Perfect._

_His thin lips curled into a smile as he took aim at the unprotected area behind the creature's left leg with a crossbow. The bolt he was to use was barbed with sharp little hooks, much like a sting ray's stinger, and it would not be easily extracted. The monster would be in terrible pain. He grinned sadistically and let fly. _

_The sound the wounded thing let out was akin to somebody pouring gravel into a blender. He gritted his teeth as the bellow vibrated through him while it lumbered about, scrabbling at the acid-coated bolt with dragon-like fingers. It only succeeded in forcing the bolt in further, green blood dripping down its flank. Blinded by pain and rage, it spied the school that sat innocently upon the hill in the far distance- a mere grey smudge upon the horizon to human eyes- and extended its neck as it roared at the castle. It extended its bat-like wings, and flew haphazardly towards the building, trailing green blood, which dripped into the lake._

_"Oh dear," he said with mock fear, "The teachers will have trouble on their hands tonight,"_

_He slithered into the darkness, leaving behind only a faint clue that he'd ever been there at all._

...

When Naruto awoke on Sunday morning, it was to the bright warmth and sweet smell of grass that belonged to the Summer wafting in through the open window. He grinned to himself, eyes closed, and turned over. Today was going to be a good day...

"Aaaaaaaahhhh!" he screamed, thrashing spastically as a jet of water hit him square in the back, "Holy fucking shit! That's cold!"

With a grunt, he fell onto the hard floor and lay there for a few seconds prior to slowly sitting up.

"It never gets old," Kisame chuckled, leaning against the door frame for support while Naruto glared at him petulantly.

"You're on my list," Naruto told him darkly, staggering to his feet. With a pointed glare, he wrung out the back of his pyjama top and stalked into the bathroom, making wet squelching sounds with every step.

"Hurry up, brat," Kisame called, "Tsunade's pulled some strings with Aunt Demeter to make sure the sun's out all day, so we're going down to the lake later,"

"Why?" Naruto called grudgingly.

"It's your last day before classes," Kisame said, "It was Kakashi's idea. He probably just wants to see the students in hardly any clothing,"

At Naruto's appalled retch, Kisame sniggered.

"Oh, I should probably get Mini-'Tachi up aswell," he said. Naruto grinned to himself, pressing his ear against the door in anticipation.

"Fuck!" Sasuke bellowed, "You stupid fish! I'm going to fucking kill you!"

There was a sound of springs and a muffled thud. Naruto guessed that Sasuke had leapt off his bed and had attempted to tackle Kisame to the ground. By the sound of Kisame's renewed laughter, Sasuke hadn't been very successful in his endeavour.

Knowing that his entertainment was over, Naruto stripped and stepped into the warm shower. It was a strange shower. Roughly circular and made from marble with a sliding door in the front, there was no shower head to be seen. Instead, the water fell like rain would as soon as he stepped into the shower, and it appeared to come from nowhere.

"I'll see you at breakfast, ladies," Kisame said. Naruto heard their bedroom door snap closed.

"Fuck you!" Naruto said, his voice echoing, "I'm no girl!"

"You're as hormonal as one," Sasuke shot back.

"Yeah, well, you _look _like one!" Naruto retorted triumphantly.

"No I don't," Sasuke said flatly, with an undertone in his voice that told Naruto his eyebrow was probably ticking.

"Ha!" Naruto crowed, scrubbing his body with the shower gel that had appeared in his hand, "You're a prissy skinny pretty boy, remember? The only guys girlier than you are your brother and that tranny that teaches Alchemy!"

Naruto laughed at his own genius. He knew Sasuke was probably foaming at the mouth with anger right now, and was only impeded by the bathroom door, and the fact that Naruto was naked.

"Prissy skinny pretty boy, am I?" Sasuke said from where he was leaning against the sink. The smile dropped off Naruto's face.

"Ah!" he shrieked, scrambling around for his towel. When he realised it was missing, he clamped his hands over his groin with a whimper.

"How did you get in here?" he said, "You-you big gay creep!"

"I'm asexual," Sasuke sneered, "Now, are you going to say that shit again?"

"Hell no!" Naruto said vehemently, "I don't want to get ass-raped, thanks!"

For a moment, Naruto thought that Sasuke was going to do just that. His eyes glowed red for a brief instant, and then a smirk lifted the corner of his mouth. He whispered something to himself, and flicked his hand in the direction of the shower.

"Have fun, loser," he said, in a foreboding voice. Naruto opened his mouth to retort, and suddenly squawked as the water in his shower turned into sticky, smelly slime.

"You bastard!" he howled, falling out of the shower. He was getting used to doing that, and was able to stop his face from meeting the floor quite well. He lurched to his feet, spitting out slime and soap, and roared his rage for the entire floor to hear.

"Sasuke!" he bawled as he stumbled, quite naked, into the bedroom, "I'm going to fucking kill you, you piece of shit!"

But Sasuke was nowhere to be seen. Naruto stalked over to the door and yanked it open, coming face to chin with Itachi, whose hand was raised, poised to knock.

"Not dressed as such, I hope?" Itachi asked flatly with a raised eyebrow. Only the twitching of his lips gave away his amusement. A crimson flush crept up Naruto's face as he stood, frozen and naked, in front of his impassive professor, a piece of slime dropping off his hair and onto the carpet. It was beyond awkward.

"Professor?"

"Yes, Naruto-kun?"

"Would you mind putting me out of my misery please?"

"Ah...while I am capable of that, Tsunade-sama frowns upon the murder of students,"

"Right," Naruto sighed, drooping like his favourite house plant that time his old pet jarvey had pissed on it.

"You may want to shower again and get dressed," Itachi advised, "Although I'm sure Kisame would consent to hosing you down,"

Naruto glared balefully as he used a towel to wipe off the worst of the slime and then slipped his clothing on.

_Note to self,_ he thought with grimace as he sprayed what felt like an entire can of deoderant to cover the faint stink, _Don't provoke Sasuke while in the shower._

"No, I'm good," he said eventually, not wanting to be treated to one of Kisame's showers again, "I've already had a nice shower from him this morning,"

"He always has liked doing that," Itachi sighed disapprovingly, "And the water is always horribly cold,"

"Wait...he did that to _you_?" Naruto asked, amazed.

"Yes, he did, when I was a student here," Itachi said, "Although I doubt I reacted as dramatically as you,"

"Right," Naruto said with flushed cheeks as he recalled the fit he'd had, "What are you here for, anyway?"

"To see my little brother. No doubt he fled the scene of the crime immediately after he performed that spell on you while you were in the shower,"

"Yeah," Naruto growled, "Cowardly little bastard. When I get my hands on him...,"

He trailed off, deciding that it would probably be doubly bad to threaten someone who was both a student, and the scary professor's kid brother. Luckily, Itachi did not appear upset. Or, at least, the parts of him that were located below his nose didn't appear upset. Naruto didn't know about above that point, because he wasn't going to look into this guy's eyes. He liked his mind in one piece, thank you very much.

"I'll need to see you at 8pm every night this week, bar Saturday and Sunday," Itachi said, turning and leaving.

"Where should I meet you?" Naruto grumbled, lamenting the loss of his night time relaxation after experiencing the brutal classes that Rouen was known for.

"I'll come to get you," Itachi said, once again vanishing into a wall.

"He's _so _got to teach me how to do that," Naruto said to himself as he left his room. The door locked behind him automatically. Sakura was leaning against the wall, appearing disappointed that Naruto, not Sasuke, had exited the room.

"Got to teach you to do what?" Sakura asked.

"That...walking through walls thing," Naruto told her, "I mean, he's my mentor, right? So he's got to teach me!"

"I don't think he _has _to do anything, Naruto," she said, "Where's Sasuke?"

"Off being a bastard, like always," Naruto grumpily retorted, running a hand through hair which still felt disgustingly slick.

"Stop insulting my Sasuke!" Sakura growled, hitting him on the head. Naruto normally sat and took the abuse, knowing that she wasn't trying to harm him (overly), but his morning had been horrible so far, and he was in a bad mood.

"He's not _your _Sasuke!" he shouted back, ignoring the shock on her face, "Have you _seen _the way he looks at you when you drool all over him? He's not interested! He's asexual! He told me himself! He doesn't want you, so you should give up and stop chasing him! It's pathetic!"

By the time he'd finished, there were tears in her eyes. He felt a little guilty, but ignored the guilt. If anyone should feel guilty, it was her. He wasn't the one who beat people up on a daily basis just because they made a certain remark.

Stepping around her, he walked away quickly, knowing that he may have just lost a friend.

As he morosely approached the inberg, he became aware of the deafening roar of chatter coming from within. Feeling suddenly self-conscious, he smoothed a hand through his hair and stepped through the door, which opened of its own accord. The gigantic table was packed with students, all of whom were wearing normal clothes rather than the uniform. But, then, it _was _Sunday, afterall. Nobody paid him any attention, and he quickly located the other new students, who were sitting close to the teachers as they ate their breakfast. He grinned and cheerfully joined them.

After a tasty breakfast of eggs and bacon with orange juice to wash it all down, Naruto spent the morning sitting in the inberg and talking to the teachers who had decided, for some reason, that they wanted to spend the morning with a bunch of 16 and 17 year olds.

At dinner time, they all returned to their rooms (Sasuke remaining suspiciously absent) and slipped into their swimming clothes. Naruto whistled a happy tune to himself as he pulled on his bright orange and green swimming shorts and then practically skipped down the corridor towards the front door. It was impossible to pass through it without having the intrinsic magical signature of a current Rouen student, as was the case for all of the doors in the school. The exception was, of course, the door they had used to enter the school for the first time.

"The only reason there was even a single door that doesn't use this defence," Tsunade had told them at breakfast as she stared sadly at her alcohol-free drink, "Is because the authorities like to visit every now and again, to make sure we're all doing our jobs properly. So Algol makes sure they're who they say they are, and gives them clearance,"

Naruto continued to whistle a happy tune. Rounding a corner, he bumped into Sakura, who was looking rather pretty in her green bathing suit, sunglasses perched on her head. She carried a towel and bottle of sun cream.

"S-Sakura," Naruto blurted out. When she saw him, she turned and went to walk away.

"No, wait!" he said, grabbing her arm. She stopped and turned to face him. Agitatedly, he ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry about this morning," he told her, "I was completely out of line,"

"No, you were right," Sakura sighed, "I was acting like a bitch,"

"Yeah, but I could have said it less meanly," Naruto said without thinking, and promptly winced, expecting to receive a blow to the head. Sakura only laughed.

"It's ok, Naruto. Apology accepted,"

"Does that mean you're going to stop chasing after Sasuke?" Naruto asked after a beat, looking at the floor.

"No, Naruto," she sighed, "I really like him, and I'm not going to stop. But I'll stop being so bitchy to you just because you insult him,"

"What if I hit him?"

"Then expect a nice black eye," Sakura told him sweetly.

"Er...right," he winced. Sakura playfully punched his arm (he flinched) and motioned at him to follow her.

The rolling moors looked more beautiful without the horrible red light of Itachi's illusion. The idyllic scene of heather gently swaying in the breeze under the beaming Summer sun made Naruto grin happily to himself. So far, he'd been tortured and messed with a few times, but the meals were amazing and the teachers had allowed them to spend the afternoon like this. At the moment, the good was balancing out the bad, in Naruto's eyes.

There weren't many people by the lakeside. A teacher had conjured up a giant picnic blanket, and a few pupils were sitting on it with the unmistakably huge, blue form of Kisame. Naruto tugged Sakura over to the blanket and plonked himself down with a sigh as people murmured greetings.

"Food!" he said gleefully, "I take it back. This school doesn't suck so bad at all,"

As he was tipping a good number of ham sandwiches onto his plate, Naruto looked into black eyes, and then he realised just who he'd sat next to.

"You bastard!" he said, standing up and pointing accusingly, "I can't believe you did that!"

All chatter quickly died away. Everyone paused, many appearing entertained. Kisame sniggered quietly.

"Maybe you'll watch your mouth in future," Sasuke said coolly, eating a piece of fruit from his healthy lunch of fruit and a cereal that, to Naruto, looked like the bottom of a rabbit hut when it was time to clean it out. Quite why he was eating cereal for lunch was a mystery to Naruto.

"You started it!" Naruto pointed out childishly, "How that hell can you call _me _girly? You're the one eating that crap! Trying to keep your figure, Sasu-chan?"

He fluttered his eyelashes at Sasuke mockingly, whose eyes flashed red momentarily. It was a little creepy, but nothing Naruto couldn't handle.

"In that case, you should follow my lead. You're looking a little round," Sasuke told him.

"This is aaaaall muscle, baby," Naruto said, flexing his bicep demonstratively, "Which you'd know nothing about,"

"The only muscle that seems to be above average on your body is your tongue," Sasuke observed coolly.

"Fuck you! I could so kick your ass!"

"Then prove it," Sasuke challenged, quirking one eyebrow.

"There won't be any fighting here," Kakashi said from behind his perverted book. Naruto hadn't even noticed that he was there, "You'd ruin my lunch, and I get very upset when I don't get to eat my lunch in peace,"

He spoke in a nonchalant tone, but there was a clear threat there. Naruto compliantly sat down.

"Pussy," Sasuke muttered.

The teachers and pupils watched as Naruto launched himself at Sasuke like a cartoon character, knocking him off the blanket and onto the grass. Naruto punched him in the jaw, his knuckles smarting slightly. But Sasuke wasn't giving up without a fight. Snarling, he rolling them over and dug his knee into Naruto's thigh as he planted his fist in Naruto's mouth. Naruto tasted blood, but he wasn't sure who it belonged to.

He got to his feet falteringly, keeping a grip on Sasuke's shirt front as Sasuke wrestled against his hold. He pushed Sasuke back onto the blanket, scattering food everywhere, and tried to punch him in the head, but Sasuke rolled to the side and yanked Naruto onto the blanket aswell and pinned him there. Not to be outdone, Naruto sank his teeth into Sasuke's arm.

"If you've got rabies...," Sasuke hissed, half out of pain and half out of anger, as he snatched his arm back and pummelling Naruto in the eye. Naruto tried to pay him back, but they were dragged apart.

"That's enough, ladies," Kisame said, dangling them a foot above the floor as he grasped an arm in each hand, "Mini-'Tachi, your brother was never as much trouble as you,"

"Which is quite an accomplishment, as it's only your second day in this school," Kakashi added dryly.

"Not really," Kisame said, "Itachi was always the perfect little student,"

He let Naruto and Sasuke go, and they crashed to the hard ground with mutual grunts of pain.

"You fucker," Naruto grunted.

"Cute kids," Kakashi noted idly.

"Itachi was never perfect, un," the blond teacher interrupted with a positively hateful look on his face. Naruto hadn't noticed he was there either. He didn't know how he'd managed that. The blond teacher was wearing black swim shorts that were so obscenely tight, they confirmed he was, indeed, a guy. Naruto looked away, feeling slightly perverted. He'd clearly been hoping that dressing as such would make Kisame notice him. If that was his intention, his plan hadn't been successful. Kisame wasn't exactly drooling over him.

"Itachi never made mistakes, Deidara," Kakashi pointed out, continuing to read that book, "I was his mentor. I should know,"

"That's why he isn't perfect, un!" Deidara said emphatically, slamming a fist down on the grass and missing a pool of orange juice by inches, "Perfection is imperfection, un!"

There was an awkward silence. Kisame sat back down while everyone tried (and failed) to look like they weren't listening.

"What's your problem with Itachi?" Kisame asked, "He's never done anything to you,"

Deidara didn't answer and poked his sandwich moodily. He flicked a piece of cereal off it, and apparently decided against eating it, as he rose to his feet and swept to the lake, where he jumped in with a splash and swam towards the middle. While Kisame watched him go with curiosity and a little worry, there was no appreciation in his eyes.

"Poor Deidara," Ino sighed quietly, "It must be so horrible to like somebody who doesn't like you back,"

"I'd imagine you know exactly how he feels," Shikamaru muttered, although Ino, again, didn't hear him.

"He's your mentor, isn't he?" Kiba interrupted.

"Oh!" Ino said gleefully, clapping her hands together in front of herself, "This is so great! We can talk about guys, and fashion, and-,"

"Deidara isn't a sissy gay, even if he looks it," Kisame told her, "He'll expect only the best from you, and he'll work you like a slave. He'll probably want you to out-do Itachi's student, and that won't be easy,"

"Sorry Ino, but you won't be beating me," Naruto grinned, pointing at himself with his thumb. At the other students' dubious looks, he scowled.

"Don't underestimate me!" he warned them, "I'm going to be a kage by the end of the year!"

They didn't look any more confident in his abilities, which left Naruto with a thirst to prove himself to them. He promised himself that he would master his classes quicker than anyone else so that he could take his place at the top of the pecking order at the end of the year.

"What's his deal anyway?" Kiba asked, "I get the feeling that he'd hate Itachi even if Itachi wasn't-,"

Sakura jabbed him in the gut with her elbow.

"...A brunet," Kiba wheezed.

"A brunet?" Kisame asked, understandably appearing confused.

"Blonds hate brunets," Kiba said, rubbing his aching ribs, "Look at Sasuke and Naruto,"

As though to illustrate his point, Sasuke and Naruto's gazes met with an angry intensity that nearly caused a black hole to open up between them.

"Right," Kisame said slowly, although he didn't appear convinced.

"Yeah, so is there any reason they hate each other?" Kiba asked.

"Deidara was always second to Itachi in school," Kisame shrugged, "Itachi has never really done much to make Deidara hate him so much. It's just jealousy on Deidara's part. Itachi always achieved higher test scores, and during my exam they were pitted against each other, with Itachi coming out on top. Added to that, they both made Kage at the end of their first year, but Deidara wanted to be Hokage and ended up becoming Tsuchikage. And you can probably guess who managed to make Hokage,"

"So Itachi out-did him at every turn?" Naruto said sympathetically, "Man, that must suck! No wonder he doesn't like Itachi,"

"It's not Itachi's fault that Deidara's a loser," Sasuke sneered as the remaining students arrived and settled themselves down on the blanket.

"He's hardly a loser," Kisame sniggered, "The fact that he made Kage at all should tell you that,"

"He was second best," Sasuke said, "He lost. So he's a loser,"

"You're the biggest bastard ever," Naruto told him, flicking a crisp into Sasuke's dark hair. Sasuke replied by upending the entire bowl on Naruto's head, and Kisame was forced to intervene to stop a food fight. Kakashi then banished the trashed remains of their picnic with his caduceus, which was topped with a small silver statue of a dog.

"Unfortunately, warlocks can't make food with spells from nothing," he said, sending Naruto and Sasuke a disapproving glare with one grey eye.

"Why not?" Sakura asked, glaring at Naruto. She seemed to have decided that it was all Naruto's fault, since he'd been the one who had thrown the first hit.

"You'll find out in my class," Kakashi said, "I can summon if I'm close enough, I can multiply what I already have and I can transfigure one food into another, but I can't conjure up food from nowhere,"

They all visibly wilted, and both Sasuke and Naruto were on the receiving end of a volley of glares.

"But," Kakashi said brightly, "The cooks have plenty of food sitting in the kitchens. I could just summon it,"

"But what if flies get in the juice?" Sakura asked worriedly, "Or bugs get on the other food?"

"I could always ask Itachi to make me another devil basket," Kakashi smiled. Sakura visibly blanched.

"No, that's ok," she said nervously, "Summoning's fine,"

Kakashi stood, lifting his caduceus above his head. The air instantly felt electric.

"_Klitevo_!" he commanded. A great pulse of energy seemed to be expelled from the caduceus, like a shockwave from an explosion. At first, it appeared as though nothing had happened. Then, there was a distant rumble, and they bore witness to the bizarre sight of what appeared to be the contents of a giant larder flying towards them.

"Do you think you summoned enough, Kakashi?" Kisame asked sarcastically as the feast was deposited on the blanket, and the surrounding grass. He sounded more amused than contemptuous, though.

"Well, more is less," Kakashi grinned.

"The phrase is "less is more"," Sakura pointed out with a dubious look at the food as Naruto dove in like a starved pig.

"You'll soon learn that Kakashi does things his own way, Pinky," Kisame said enigmatically. Sakura's hackles rose, her green eyes narrowing as she started to rebuke him. But he'd already stood up, and, pulling his shirt off to expose a powerfully-built body, he ran to the lake and dove in.

"Are any of you coming for a swim?" he called as his head crested the rippling surface of the lake.

"We don't trust you!" Sakura shouted back, igniting a loud laugh from him.

"I wish I was that muscle-y," Naruto sighed glumly.

"_Muscular_, idiot. The word is _muscular_," Sasuke pointed out with genuine exasperation at Naruto's stupidity. Naruto mimicked him sourly.

"I saw that," Sasuke said with a smirk.

"Whatever, bastard," Naruto grouched, staring out across the lake, "Hey, looks like Deidara's making a move on Kisame,"

Sasuke looked up sharply. Sure enough, Deidara was treading water close to Kisame, touching his arms and chest often in an effort to _stabilise _himself as he pretended to be knocked by an unexpected wave. Sounds of Deidara's laughter drifted across the lake.

"No matter," Sasuke said, standing up and dusting off his trousers, "I'll fix this,"

His voice was so confident that Naruto had to look closer to check that it was really Sasuke he was talking to and not an Itachi clone.

"How are you going to do that?" Naruto asked, curiously getting up and following them. Sakura also stood up, clearly taking the opportunity to talk to Sasuke away from Ino, who was preoccupied with trying to shove Kiba's face into a rhubab pie.

Sasuke didn't answer Naruto's question and made his way to the lake's edge.

"Come here," he called to Kisame, who left Deidara's embrace and swam over.

"If I wasn't curious, I'd have stayed over there," Kisame said, standing in the silt along the shore of the lake, "I don't let anyone order me around,"

"You let Itachi," Sasuke said with a blank expression. Far from appearing embarrassed, Kisame grinned jaggedly and folded his arms across his enormous chest.

"You're right, kid," he said, "I said it wrong. I should have said "_I don't take orders from just anyone_","

"Anyone but Itachi, you mean," Sasuke pressed.

"You're forgetting Tsunade," Kisame said with quiet amusement. Sasuke closed his eyes momentarily.

"Look, I didn't come here to play mind games," he said briskly, "I came here to tell you something,"

For a brief moment, Naruto feared that Sasuke was going to blab about Itachi's pursual of Kisame in a weird revenge plot because Itachi hadn't become his mentor.

"What like?" Kisame asked slowly, his grin disappearing to be replaced by an expression of interest.

"Did you know," Sasuke said slowly, "That Itachi can't swim?"

Naruto, and even Sakura, sent Sasuke identical looks that bellowed _What the fuck?_ Sasuke didn't appear deterred.

"So?" Kisame asked.

"He'd be safe in the water in the shallows," Sasuke said with a smirk, "But he never goes in anyway,"

Kisame's grin was so wide that it nearly split his face in half.

"What are you trying to say?"

"You could always give him a little...push," Sasuke said in a deviously manipulative tone, "Or a..._pull_,"

Naruto stared at him with awed admiration while Sakura looked on disapprovingly. She didn't protest, though. Clearly, her sense of justice was over ruled by her need to be close to Sasuke.

"I'll keep that in mind," Kisame said with a single searching look, prior to walking back into the water until it was deep enough for him to swim through.

"That will put Itachi in the lead," Sasuke smirked.

"Or he'll get pissed off and mindfuck you," Naruto pointed out.

"He won't know it was me,"

"Are you sure?" Naruto ventured as they returned to the picnic blanket- Ino and Sakura exchanging angry looks- and began to eat some more, "Cause sometimes it feels like he can read your mind,"

"Nobody can see your thoughts unless you say the words _antanaklo skepsi_to project them onto a reflective surface," Sasuke said, "Don't you know anything?"

"We don't all have amazing sorcerers as brothers, you know," Naruto mumbled through a mouthful of chocolate cake, spraying Sasuke with crumbs. Sasuke's nose wrinkled up in revulsion and he shuddered.

"I'd have thought you'd at least pick up a book before you came here," he said, brushing the crumbs off his lap with a look of disgust.

"Reading's boring," Naruto said dismissively, "So, why did you do it?"

"Generally, people read because they want to _learn things_, idiot," Sasuke said with a smirk.

"I meant, why did you tell Kisame to yank your brother into the water? Itachi's going to be majorly pissed,"

"I didn't _tell _him to," Sasuke said, taking a huge bite out of an apple, "I merely suggested it,"

"Same difference!" Naruto said.

"That doesn't even make sense, moron," Sasuke snorted, "You should have said that it's all just semantics,"

"Semi-what now?"

"Nevermind," Sasuke said irritably, "And I did it because I know Kisame will be interested once he gets Itachi nice and wet,"

"Oh," Naruto said without comprehension, "_Oh_!"

As he realised what Sasuke was attempting to achieve, his face flushed slightly with discomfort. Sakura carefully avoided speaking and couldn't meet Sasuke's gaze.

"But Itachi's not even here," Naruto objected after a lengthly silence had passed.

"We should get down to the shore," Sasuke said, glancing in that direction, "Itachi will come, and he won't go near the water if he has no reason to,"

Naruto glanced in that direction aswell and blanched at the sight of Kisame wrestling with his enormous leviathan brother, who was roaring with enjoyment. Or, at least, Naruto hoped that the monster was enjoying itself, because, if it decided to go on a rampage, Naruto didn't want to be in its way.

With a little trepidation he hid behind a jovial grin, Naruto ran down to the shoreline before Sasuke and plonked himself down on the sparse grass that tufted the silty shore to show that he wasn't scared.

"Why are you two following me?" Sasuke asked in that superior, blue-blooded, _I'm better than you_ tone.

"I'm not missing the chance to see Itachi set your ass on fire!" Naruto shot back to an irritated but resigned look from Sasuke.

"Now we need to wait," Sasuke said, "Itachi should be here soon,"

It was another ten minutes before Itachi appeared. Naruto was watching the impromptu wrestling match between the two monsters when Itachi walked out from behind a copse of trees as though he had materialised there. Immediately, Kisame terminated his wrestling match and sank beneath the water like a bizarre submarine, his brother following suit. Naruto tried not to stare at Kisame's exit, because he didn't want to draw attention to it.

Itachi looked rather more human without the robe that marked him as a member of the most elite rank of sorcerer in the world. He was wearing a simple pair of black shorts and a white t-shirt. Shielding his eyes were a pair of elegant black sunglasses, and his skin shone with a sheen of suncream. Deidara, who had just stepped onto the shore, scowled at Itachi's appearance, but was unable to do anything; had he tried to send Itachi away, he'd look like the bad guy, and Kisame wouldn't be pleased with him.

"Itachi," he sneered instead. Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura silently sat and watched the proceedings.

"Deidara-san," Itachi said neutrally, re-tying his hair into a low ponytail.

"Why are you here?" Deidara asked, the sound of his teeth pressing together nearly audible.

"I wasn't aware that there was a rule against me being here," Itachi said in a tone of mild surprise. Deidara growled furiously to himself, fists clenching and unclenching rhythmically by his sides.

"I know your game," he hissed eventually as Itachi raised a perfect eyebrow, "Give up now, and you won't have to suffer the humiliation of losing to me,"

"Are you still fixated on this childish rivallry?" Itachi sighed. Deidara's mouth worked for a few moments.

"You're going to lose," he said eventually, and retreated back into the water with a single scathing glance. It was then that Sasuke apparently decided to put his plan into action.

"Itachi!" he called. Itachi regarded them with a tendril of suspicion for a moment, and then, with a little hesitance, slowly walked towards them.

"What are you planning?" he asked shrewdly when he reached them, his back to the lake.

"Me?" Sasuke said slowly, with a guilelessness that a lesser man might believe, "I'm not planning anything,"

Itachi wasn't a lesser man, and, when Naruto's eyes flickered towards the lake Itachi had his back to, Itachi twisted around quickly to look. He wasn't fast enough to avoid Kisame, who chose that moment to burst out of the shallows, cross his huge arms across Itachi's chest and waist, and yank Itachi into the lake with a tremendous splash, a peal of laughter, and a shocked yelp from Itachi.

When Naruto had dried his face with his arm, he turned his attention to Kisame and Itachi. The water was possibly four feet deep at the most, but Itachi had been so shocked that he'd practically wrapped himself around Kisame like snake. His arms were around Kisame's neck, and his legs were locked around Kisame's waist as he clung on while Kisame laughed like what had happened was the funniest thing he'd witnessed in his entire life.

"I'm going to kill you," Itachi said eventually while Naruto attempted to keep a snigger behind tightly closed lips. He didn't really want Itachi to kill him aswell. And Itachi's eyes were even scarier than normal when they flashed red like that.

"You can't deny that this is funny!" Kisame said, wiping a tear with a finger. When Kisame's arms moved, Itachi clung on tighter.

"Yes, incredibly amusing," Itachi said flatly, and the way his lips twitched told Naruto that he really was amused, "Now return me to shore,"

"I don't want to," Kisame said.

"What did you just say?" Itachi asked, almost...faintly.

"I don't want to take you back to shore. I think we should swim for a while,"

"I can't swim,"

"Then we'll stay in the shallows,"

"I don't want to,"

"Why not?"

"Do I need a reason?"

Kisame laughed deeply, and pulled his arms away from Itachi, where they had been gripping his backside reflexively. Itachi's immediate reaction was to cling on even tighter. Naruto could see Itachi's thighs shaking with the effort he was exerting to clench so tightly, and he was amazed that it wasn't hurting Kisame in any way.

"Kisame, take me back to shore," Itachi said again. He was almost catlike in the way that he desperately tried to avoid the water. He was already soaked, so Naruto didn't know what the problem was. And the water wasn't even deep.

"Don't you know how to have fun?" Kisame asked.

"I don't consider absorbing dirty lake water to be an acceptable past time," Itachi said flatly.

"Suit yourself," Kisame shrugged, and began to pry Itachi from his body while standing in the lake. Itachi's physical strength was no match for his, but Itachi kept latching back onto that huge blue body as Kisame attempted to remove each gripping limb one by one, causing Kisame quite the inconvenience. Eventually, Kisame grew tired of it, and pressed onto Itachi's chest, hoping to dislodge him that way. Itachi's wide red eyes were both comical and scary. Naruto winced sympathetically as Itachi's nails dug into Kisame's back and shoulders.

"Itachi, just let him have his way," Sasuke put in, "You're acting like a child,"

"I hope you don't think that I'm unaware of your part in this, Sasuke," Itachi said in a strained voice and with a glare that contained more anger than normal. Sasuke simply smirked with a raised eyebrow.

"When I set your first assignment...," Itachi said as Kisame came closer and closer to pushing Itachi away. Naruto knew that Kisame could have thrown Itachi like a ragdoll if he'd really wanted to, but he didn't want to hurt Itachi, so he used only a fraction of his strength to perform the arduous task of getting Itachi into the water.

"Itachi, it's water," Kisame said, "It won't kill you,"

Itachi glanced down at the green shallows, kelp waving languidly in the water. He reached towards the water, keeping the majority of his body locked around Kisame and leaning awkwardly. His nails were still painted purple, and a red ring gleamed on his right ring finger. Strangely, Kisame had a similar ring on his finger, but his was the same colour as his skin, which probably explained why Naruto hadn't spotted it before. Naruto couldn't look at the symbols on those rings for very long without feeling his eyes smart, but he could tell that they were important, simply because of the sheer amount of power leaking from them like oily smoke.

"I suppose," Itachi said suddenly, untangling himself and sliding into the water with barely a ripple.

A chill breeze swept by ominously. Itachi's scarlet eyes narrowed at the gently stirring lake surface, and Sasuke pushed Naruto and Sakura behind him while Kisame, his mouth a grim line, grasped the hilt of his sword.

Naruto wasn't yet learned in the ways of magic, but he could sense that something was terribly wrong. The playful atmosphere had evaporated quickly, and the students were frozen, staring at their teachers for support. This cautiousness was hard-wired into them to protect them from those humans who would seek to harm them, and it didn't often fail them. Naruto's body thrummed with tension and fear, but he stood his ground. Glancing to the side, he locked gazes with Sasuke, and was instantly hypnotised by Sasuke's blood-red eyes. Unlike Itachi's, they didn't inspire a sense of fear in him, but they captivated him so fully that perhaps he should have feared Sasuke aswell.

"Is it him?" Deidara whispered suddenly, silently surfacing next to Kisame. Itachi spared him a slightly miffed glance, but nevertheless turned his attention back to more pressing matters. Naruto, meanwhile, was busy trying to figure out who Deidara was referring to. His brain could not dig up any possibilities, but Sasuke's sharp hiss suggested that he knew exactly what Deidara was talking about. Naruto resolved to bug him until he spilled the truth.

"It should not be here," Itachi said, "Tsunade-sama erected those boundaries personally. Clearly, somebody has been so reckless or malicious as to purposely remove those shields,"

"And considering the amount of skill needed to do that...," Kisame said grimly.

"It's likely that the culprit's intentions were malicious," Itachi finished.

"What's going on?" Sakura asked fearfully, hiding behind Sasuke. She clutched at his arm, her hand trembling. Rather than appearing sympathetic, Sasuke took a moment to sneer at her.

"Get off me," he said coldly. She let go immediately, eyes downcast.

"Nevermind that," Kisame said tensely, his hand still clasping his massive sword, "Just get inside now,"

"But-!"

"Now!" Kisame ordered fiercely, his eyes appearing slightly mad, "If you get killed, we'll be the ones who get it in the neck. Get your ass inside before I kill you myself!"

Sakura nearly tripped over herself as she turned towards the castle and took off at a sprint. The other students were looking at the teachers fearfully- all except Kiba, that is, who was watching the lake with a chalk-white face. He appeared to be staring at a distant bird- but, judging his expression, his sharp eyes had detected something much more dangerous than a bird.

"Shit!" he almost squeaked, "Come on, get inside, guys! Now! Move it, move it, move it!"

He began to chivvy the other students towards the castle, with the help of Shikamaru, who seemed to be intelligent enough to know that this was a serious emergency. There was immense confusion for a moment, until Kakashi began to take charge. He even put that orange book away, a fact which convinced Naruto that something bad was happening. He hadn't seen the warlock without that book in hand yet, and he had a feeling that he only relinquished hold of it under dire circumstances.

"Sasuke, what's going on?" Naruto whispered. But Sasuke wasn't listening. He was staring at the bird that was now perhaps a hundred metres away from them- only now Naruto could see that it was no bird.

"_Jabberwocky_," he breathed.

"Sasuke, Naruto, get inside now!" Itachi ordered sharply, "That's an order!"

"I'm not a child, Itachi!" Sasuke hissed defensively, "I can fight too!"

"Now is not the time to be so immature!" Itachi responded, his eyes a burning, blood red, "This creature will slaughter you. Leave now, or I'll _make _you leave myself!"

"Itachi!" Kisame called out as the huge thing bore down on them. Itachi whirled around inhumanly swiftly. The Jabberwocky was the size of a small plane, with a hideous face like a mutant rabbit's and claws that could gut a man and the person standing behind him.

"Deidara, distract it while Kisame restrains it," Itachi called. The monster slashed at them manically with dirty yellow claws, roaring one, continuous note. There was a madness in its eyes. Naruto dove to the side, shoving Sasuke to the ground. The claws scooped out clear lines in the sandy earth, leaving knee-deep trenches.

There was a blinding explosion that left Naruto's eyes smarting and his ears ringing. Stunned, he lay on top of a similarly disoriented Sasuke, spreading out his nine tails in the hope that it would protect them from the Jabberwocky's fury. Tails, he could grow back. Limbs, he could not.

When lights stopped dancing before their eyes and they could hear properly again, Sasuke punched Naruto in the arm.

"Get _off _me, you idiot," he grumbled, although he sounded more embarrassed than angry. Naruto obeyed and rolled off Sasuke, then managed to stand up. He'd injured his hand when he'd tackled Sasuke to the ground, as it had taken the brunt of Sasuke's weight. His knees felt skinned, but he couldn't detect anymore injuries. It was then that he registed the Jabberwocky's horrendous roaring, and blinked dumbly in the direction of the beast.

"That can't be normal," he said flatly. Sasuke snorted contemptuously. Clearly, he felt that nothing here was ordinary by standard terms, even the students themselves. The fact that Kisame somehow had a muscular, deadly, plane-sized creature disabled on the ground, its thrashing tail kicking up massive waves as it tried to remove Kisame from its back as the demigod yanked its head back in a bizarre chokehold, didn't seem too out of the ordinary to him.

"Lower its head," Itachi said, "I want to look into its eyes,"

Deidara rolled his eyes. He seemed to have put this moment of camaderie in the face of great danger behind him, and was quite content to go back to hating Itachi's guts.

Kisame lowered the Jabberwocky's head, allowing Itachi to look into it's mad eyes.

"_Nú swefecung_," Itachi said, drawing his thumb across the creature's eyes. Instantly, it stopped trying to remove Kisame's hold, and the great head dropped abruptly as the Jabberwocky began to snore.

"That was easier than expected," Kisame said, stretching and allowing the head to fall to the soft ground with a muffled thud. The great body rolled slightly until it was half lying in the lake. Itachi sent Kisame a disapproving look.

"The bastard was trying to skin me," Kisame pointed out with a grin.

"It was clearly a distraction," Itachi said, ignoring Kisame's excuse, "Somebody wanted something, and they didn't want us standing in the way of them getting it,"

"I don't get it," Deidara interjected, "I know it's dangerous and all, but it shouldn't have flipped like that. Do you think...sorcery?"

Despite his hatred of Itachi, he looked at the sorcerer in askance.

"No," Itachi said, shaking his head. His wet hair clung to him. "I know sorcery, and-,"

He stopped abruptly, spotting the sluggishly dripping blood. Naruto had spotted it too, and knelt down in the lapping water, locating the green cloud of blood spreading through the stirred up lake water. He jumped when the Jabberwocky shifted in its sleep, grunting. It settled again almost instantly, and Naruto located the cause of the injury. Imbedded behind the right leg in the soft, weaker skin of the underbelly, was a vicious arrow. He went to pull it out, but a hand on his arm stilled him.

"It's barbed to cause maximum pain and damage," Itachi stated, sending his two colleagues a significent look, "Don't pull it out yet. It will cause severe muscular damage by ripping through these tissues,"

Naruto reluctantly pulled his hand back. He wasn't particularly fond of the Jabberwocky, considering what it had tried to do to him, but he didn't hate it either. It was kind of like his relationship with Sasuke, really. And, speaking of Sasuke...

"Don't think I'm going to thank you for throwing me to the ground like that," Sasuke told him without actually looking at him.

Translation: I'm grateful that you saved my life, but don't expect me to actually lower myself to thanking _you _for stopping my ass from getting bisected.

"You're welcome, bastard," Naruto said with a wide grin. Sasuke glared.

Dinner that night was an interesting affair. Not only were they eating with the rest of the school for the first time, but the other students kept bugging them for details about the Jabberwocky attack that they had all fled. Naruto naturally lapped up the attention, while Sasuke's expression promised that he would show people how accurately he could aim cutlery if they didn't back off.

"...And then it reared up and attacked us with its claws!" Naruto told his enraptured audience, "They were like...five feet long and sharp as razors! I pushed Sasuke-bastard out of the way, putting myself in danger in the process,"

He paused to grin smugly at the cooing girls, most of whom were at least a year older than him.

"Idiot," Sasuke said, causing the girls to swoon and sigh, "You were getting out of the way too. And you nearly squashed me with your fat ass,"

"Fat?" Naruto shouted indignantly, "I'll show you fat! A fat lip, that is!"

"It'll have to be _your _fat lip that you're showing me, because there's no way you could possibly injure me," Sasuke said, without even missing a beat. Naruto fumed silently as Sakura gave him a warning look. Sasuke appeared in a much better mood when he returned to his dinner, actually eating some of it rather than pushing it round his plate.

"And then what happened, Naruto?" one girl asked rapturously.

"Then Kisame wrestled it to the ground and Itachi knocked it out with some of that hocus pocus of his," Naruto finished hurriedly with a shrug.

"_Professor Uchiha_," Sasuke corrected again with a scowl.

The girls didn't notice. They were too busy sighing.

"Professor Uchiha is so _hot_!" one breathed with a blush on her cheeks.

"He has such beautiful eyes," her friend said, the other girls nodding in agreement.

"And his hair!" another giggled, "I just want to run my hands through it,"

"Are you done?" Sasuke interjected moodily. They appeared dramatically crestfallen, as though he had called them fat and spotty, and quieted down instantly.

As Naruto fell into a restless slumber that night, he wondered whether the Jabberwocky would return. Despite his posing and egotistical assurances that he could take it on, he knew he was only kidding himself. A task like that was best left to those more powerful than him.

But Naruto hated being weak. He didn't liked admitting that people were stronger or better than him in any way, and he didn't want anyone to know that he was actually afraid of that monster. Without knowing why, he had quietly confided in Itachi when Itachi came to get him for another pointless hour of silence that night.

_"Don't worry, Naruto-kun. Jabberwockys are ordinarily peaceful creatures, despite their fearsome looks. That crossbow bolt was the cause of the attack. When injured and in pain, all creatures naturally lash out- even humans,"_

He'd then given Naruto a piercing look, as though he'd wanted Naruto to realise something. Naruto was disappointed with himself for not getting it.

...

Quite frankly, I really can't be arsed with appendices right now, so I'll write double in the next chapter! I hope you all enjoyed this!


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